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Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What is the cause of this? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand? v.2

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What is the cause of this? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand? v. 2
For over a last decade, the world has been witnessing an incessant increment in its food demand. Rising in a population and the climate change are the main reason behind this. In this essay I will discuss the reasons and possible solutions to fulfil the need of food. First of all, all over a globe, population has been increasing drastically over a decade. Because of that consumption of food has been increasing proportionally. Also, recent research shown that in 2050 world population increasing from 7. 1 billion to 8. 2 billions. Another reason is climate change across the continents. In many nations ingredients like species, dry fruits and grains are not possible to grow because of an unpredictable weather. Moreover, ozone layer depletion and global warming play a significant role in the climate change. There are ample solutions which can help to meet the global need of food. Firstly, the government should educate the farmers to use modern farming techniques. In today's 21st century, many modern technology and standard fertilizers are available to help the farmers. Secondly, many developed countries, people wasting a lot foodstuff at the restaurant and home. In such a case the government and individuals work together to minimize the wastage of food. Lastly, many rich countries have to understand the situation of poor nations and supply food at normal prices and help each other to fulfil need of foodstuff. In conclusion, I do admit that over population and global warming are the main causes of increasing demand for food, but government and farmers can meet global demand of foodstuff by using modern technology, spending awareness and support each other.
For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a last decade, the world has been witnessing an incessant increment in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
demand. Rising in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
are the main reason behind this. In this essay I will discuss the reasons and possible solutions to fulfil the need of food.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a globe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
drastically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a decade.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of that consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
proportionally
.
Also
, recent research shown that in 2050 world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
from 7. 1 billion to 8. 2 billions. Another reason is climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
across the continents. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations ingredients like species, dry fruits and grains are not possible to grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an unpredictable weather.
Moreover
, ozone layer depletion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming play a significant role in the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

There are ample solutions which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should educate the farmers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern farming techniques. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's 21st century,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern technology and standard fertilizers are available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the farmers.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wasting
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of foodstuff"?
a lot foodstuff
at the restaurant and home. In such a case the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals work together to minimize the wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rich countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
understand the situation of poor nations and supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at normal prices and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other to fulfil need of foodstuff.

In conclusion
, I do admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming are the main causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and farmers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
demand of foodstuff by using modern technology, spending awareness and support each other.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What is the cause of this? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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