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Damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. v.2

Damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. v. 2
Many people believe that as the human standard of living gets better, it will have a negative effect on the environment. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but it really depends on the method that we choose to improve our lifestyle. It is a fact that some people choose to focus on improving the standard of living without any concern of their surrounding environment. As a consequence, many natural areas have been damaged and caused the extinction of some species. Moreover, cars, refrigerators, air-conditioners, room-heathers etc have improved the way we live our life on one hand and also caused environmental degradation on the other hand. Industrialisation, factories, large offices, luxury apartments, air travel etc are all part of our improved lifestyle but yet they have many negative consequences to our environment. On the other hand, the public could not generalise a statement that says "the improvement of the living standard will have a negative effect on the environment". It really depends on how the government of each country handle it, as some countries are proven that they could manage both aspects simultaneously. For instance, Canada is known as one of the advanced countries in the world, whereas the living standard of its people is better than many other countries. And the government keep on developing methods, policies and procedures to improve the people's living standard. However, Canada is also known as one of the greenest countries in the world, as the government is also concern about preserving the originality and biodiversity of its nature. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I would agree that the improvement of the living standard has affected negatively to the environment. But it happens in some countries, whereas the governments have weak and unmeasured regulations. There are some countries who could manage between improving the living standard and maintaining the environment, and their way of governing should be reviewed and followed by other countries to make the world a better place.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that as the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
better, it will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. To a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
really
depends on the method that we choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our lifestyle.

It is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to focus on improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
without any concern of their surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. As a consequence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
natural areas have
been damaged
and caused the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species.
Moreover
, cars, refrigerators, air-conditioners,
Possible spelling mistake found.
room-heathers
etc have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
our life on one hand and
also
caused environmental degradation on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Industrialisation' is British English.
Industrialisation
, factories, large offices, luxury apartments, air travel etc are all part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
yet
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
our environment.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the public could not
Possible spelling mistake. 'generalise' is British English.
generalise
a statement that says
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the environment
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. It
really
depends on how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
handle it, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are proven
that they could manage both aspects
simultaneously
.
For instance
, Canada
is known
as one of the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on developing methods, policies and procedures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
.
However
, Canada is
also
known as one of the greenest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
also
concern about preserving the originality and biodiversity of its nature.

In conclusion
, to a certain extent, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
negatively
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it happens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have weak and unmeasured regulations. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who could manage between improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
standard
and maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, and their way of governing should
be reviewed
and followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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