Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Advanced technologies like cell phone tracking and security cameras are being used to monitor people’s activities. In many cases, people who are being monitored are unaware of that and many people oppose the use of such monitoring for this reason. Others, however, say that to track crimes it is important to use such technology. v.1

Advanced technologies like cell phone tracking and security cameras are being used to monitor people’s activities. In many cases, people who are being monitored are unaware of that and many people oppose the use of such monitoring for this reason. Others, however, say that to track crimes it is important to use such technology. v. 1
Technology makes life easy and viable. Gone are the days when people used to use jumbo style instruments to say, hear, view and watch. With the growing changes in technology, one can be tracked with his identity and actions known. In earlier days when people were contacted using telephones, faxes and telegrams. They used to be at one place and their whereabouts were tracked by the phone they respond. If we consider the recent trends in the technology; it has become feasible and transparent, the mobile phones which are used nowadays are backed up by a network which will be connected with the user of the phone. Their connectivity to the network provides access to a person’s mobility and actions, with the usage of mobile phone a person can be tracked and his whereabouts can be known. When we consider the security cameras; cameras installed at certain places provide the information regarding the mobility of persons, the cameras installed at various places not only helps in monitoring the traffic surveillance but also help in nabbing the culprits. If we consider the advantages of these technological developments they are beneficial in averting certain dangerous incidents, definitely the advantages of technology being used in tracking and identifying the suspicious activities are at par. For instance; the security cameras installed in different busy areas survey the movement of suspicious persons and with the help of these footages major calamities/dangerous situations can be averted. The conversation between persons if tapped will certainly help in identifying suspicious activities and saving the aftermath consequences which are danger in nature. As stated above, the use of technology certainly helps but this technology even steals privacy of people without their knowledge, for instance, the security cameras installed in a shopping complex or restaurant monitor the activities regularly without the knowledge of the people/visitors and this is being used improperly. Even the private conversations between people are tapped and are used for illegal means to gain some undue advantage. Certainly, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages but if the disadvantages are monitored and if the technology is practised ethically. The use of technology in monitoring and tracking certainly helps the peace and harmony of a state and country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life easy and viable. Gone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
the days when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
jumbo style instruments to say, hear, view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
. With the growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, one can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracked
with his identity and actions known.

In earlier days when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were contacted
using telephones, faxes and telegrams. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be at one place and their whereabouts were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracked
by the phone they respond. If we consider the recent trends in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
; it has become feasible and transparent, the mobile phones which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
nowadays
are backed
up by a network which will
be connected
with the user of the phone.

Their connectivity to the network provides access to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
mobility and actions, with the usage of mobile phone a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracked
and his whereabouts can
be known
. When we consider the security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
installed
at certain places provide the information regarding the mobility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
installed
at various places not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in monitoring the traffic surveillance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in nabbing the culprits.

If we consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of these technological developments they are beneficial in averting certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
incidents, definitely the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in tracking and identifying the suspicious activities are at par.
For instance
; the security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
installed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
busy areas survey the movement of suspicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
and with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of these
Possible spelling mistake found.
footages
major calamities/
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations can
be averted
. The conversation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
if tapped will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in identifying suspicious activities and saving the aftermath consequences which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
in nature.

As stated above, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
even steals privacy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without their knowledge,
for instance
, the security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
installed
in a shopping complex or restaurant monitor the activities
regularly
without the knowledge of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
/visitors and this is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
improperly
. Even the private conversations between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tapped
and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for illegal means to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Certainly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
outweigh the disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the disadvantages
are monitored
and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
ethically
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in monitoring and tracking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the peace and harmony of a state and country.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Advanced technologies like cell phone tracking and security cameras are being used to monitor people’s activities. In many cases, people who are being monitored are unaware of that and many people oppose the use of such monitoring for this reason. Others, however, say that to track crimes it is important to use such technology. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts