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Damage to environment is an inevitable consequence of the improvement in the standard of living. To what degree do you agree or disagree to this position? v.2

Damage to environment is an inevitable consequence of the improvement in the standard of living. To what degree to this position? v. 2
The improvement in the standard of living access a rapid amount of digital technology. However, people are confronted with many problems such as air pollution, water pollution, space exploration, and scientific researching. I agree with the statement of improving living standards damaging the natural world and create more problems in the Neoteric world. This essay will discuss untoward repercussions. On the one hand, people must not be allowed to deplete natural resources by cutting down trees without planting new trees to replace them. Moreover, Discharging chemical waste into the river by industries might deleterious for the environment. Water has a drink by economically deprive people stem from creating ailments in the body, as a result of dumping many aquatic animals endangered. What's more, the pollutant particles damaging the atmosphere and creating body problem such as breathing, lung, and asthma. Although by cutting tree people got money, people create more problems of getting clean air and also, damaging water cycle. Further and even more, humans can reduce carbon footprint by flying less, and reduce our food miles by buying local produce. The process of scientific development arouses many problems to our human beings. Outer space exploration has produced much waste in the space. A tiny metal, a screw, a good illustration of this is that, can destroy a flying man made satellite. Since, the chemical industries have raised, the breathing and lung problem accumulated. Besides, the government must invest heavily in solar and wind energy projects to rely on fossil fuels, which helped to produce a huge amount of electricity. Also, it is not deleterious for the ecosystem. By way of conclusion, I conceive that human beings have to reduce the overwhelming usage of technology for earning purposes might not be good for the standard of living concern. Otherwise, pollution jeopardizes the life of the current era. As well of this, the government imposes the zero policy for environment control.
The improvement in the standard of living access a rapid amount of digital technology.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are confronted
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as air pollution, water pollution, space exploration, and scientific researching. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement of improving living standards damaging the natural world and create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the Neoteric world. This essay will discuss untoward repercussions.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to deplete natural resources by cutting down trees without planting new trees to replace them.
Moreover
, Discharging chemical waste into the river by industries might deleterious for the environment. Water has a drink by
economically
deprive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stem from creating ailments in the body,
as a result
of dumping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aquatic animals endangered. What's more, the pollutant particles damaging the atmosphere and creating body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
such as breathing, lung, and asthma. Although by cutting
Did you mean "three"?
tree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of getting clean air and
also
, damaging water cycle.

Further
and even more, humans can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
carbon footprint by flying less, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our food miles by buying local produce. The process of scientific development arouses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
to our human beings. Outer space exploration has produced much waste in the space. A tiny metal, a screw, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is that, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
a flying
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
man made
satellite. Since, the chemical industries have raised, the breathing and lung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
accumulated.

Besides
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest
heavily
in solar and wind energy projects to rely on fossil fuels, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to produce a huge amount of electricity.
Also
, it is not deleterious for the ecosystem.

By way of conclusion, I conceive that human beings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the overwhelming usage of technology for earning purposes might not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the standard of living concern.
Otherwise
, pollution jeopardizes the life of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era.
As well
of this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
imposes the zero policy for environment control.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Damage to environment is an inevitable consequence of the improvement in the standard of living. To what degree to this position? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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