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Cultures all over the world are turning similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

Cultures all over the world are turning similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
It is often argued that girls prefer to study art subjects like literature, home science, and history, whereas boys tend to take up science-related subjects like physics, chemistry, and mathematics at the secondary and tertiary level of education. I believe that the problems are caused due to the lack of freedom given to the students by parents and society. This essay will try to analyse the reasons for their preferred choice of subjects between the two sexes and whether this trend needs to be altered. TO BEGIN WITH, there are several reasons which point out the choice behind boys and girls. Firstly, most students accepts the choice which their parents decide despite their dream. For example, parents forced their children to select their subject based on their gender if it is a boy, he should choose science. Likewise, if it is a girl, she should choose literature in spite of following their dreams. This Clearly shows gender discrimination in boys and girls. Secondly, societal norms and pressures often tend to create this bias between boys and girls. It is expected by the society that girls will do better in arts-related subjects whereas boys will excel in science. These are the cause of stress and pressure etc. Therefore, we have to take steps To solve these problems On the other hand, In my opinion, it can be changed only partially because we can only change societal outlook towards a particular stream or profession. We cannot change the anatomy or physiology of the human brain. The partial solution to solve this problem is giving students to select their subject, to their free will despite pressure, studies should be based on their skills. Therefore, by following these methods we can get a partial solution to the problem. To conclude, it is true that there is a definite selection bias in subjects between girls and boys which is partly due to parents and societal beliefs. Societal mindset can definitely be changed over time to decrease this selection bias.
It is
often
argued that
girls
prefer to study art
subjects
like literature, home science, and history, whereas
boys
tend to take up science-related
subjects
like physics, chemistry, and mathematics at the secondary and tertiary level of education.

I believe that the problems
are caused
due to the lack of freedom
given
to the students by
parents
and society. This essay will try to
analyse
the reasons for their preferred choice of
subjects
between the two sexes and whether this trend needs to
be altered
.

TO
BEGIN
WITH, there are several reasons which point out the choice behind
boys
and
girls
.
Firstly
, most students accepts the choice which their
parents
decide despite their dream.
For example
,
parents
forced their children to select their
subject
based on their gender if it is a
boy
, he should choose science.
Likewise
, if it is a
girl
, she should choose literature
in spite of
following their dreams. This
Clearly
shows
gender discrimination in
boys
and
girls
.
Secondly
, societal norms and pressures
often
tend to create this bias between
boys
and
girls
. It is
expected
by the society that
girls
will do better in arts-related
subjects
whereas
boys
will excel in science. These are the cause of
stress
and pressure etc.
Therefore
, we
have to
take steps

To solve these problems

On the other hand
, In my opinion, it can be
changed
only
partially
because
we can
only
change
societal outlook towards a particular stream or profession. We cannot
change
the anatomy or physiology of the human brain. The partial solution to solve this problem is giving students to select their
subject
, to their free will despite pressure, studies should
be based
on their
skills
.
Therefore
, by following these methods we can
get
a partial solution to the problem.

To conclude
, it is true that there is a
definite
selection bias in
subjects
between
girls
and
boys
which is partly due to
parents
and societal beliefs. Societal mindset can definitely be
changed
over time to decrease this selection bias.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Cultures all over the world are turning similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
334 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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