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Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons? Is it a positive trend or a negative trend? v.2

Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons? Is it a positive trend or a negative trend? v. 2
Nowadays, it is thought that people around the world have almost same culture. There are three plausible reasons for having a similar culture throughout the globe. In my opinion, turning identical culture around the world has negative consequences. The first and foremost reason of turning indistinctive tradition is that the migration rate has been increasing day by day. In other words, immigration of people from one country to another country, which has risen 10 % over the world in the last year, leads to the transformation and conversation of culture. Secondly, the accessibility of information, new trends and fads, which are available in the internet, inspire people to adopt a culture of another country. Moreover, information technology makes the world into a global village, where people want to celebrate same culture. Finally, youngsters are more interested to follow international culture rather than their traditional culture. For example, “Black Friday”, which is introduced in the USA, is celebrating in the Bangladesh in these days and juveniles are more enjoying that day rather than their local culture “ Chaitra Sankranti”. Thus, young generations are also responsible for turning the similar culture throughout the world. Similar culture has many detrimental effects on the society and economy. The main negative aspect will be seen when local unique culture will disappear soon. This local tradition and culture are the pride of a nation and bear the history of many events. Thus, a country will lose a way to being different from other countries. Another major issue will be faced by the tourist industry because of the downturn of the travellers. Many travellers visit remote areas of the world to the unique culture, which is one of the earning sources of many countries. For instance, because of having different culture in the South Africa, around 50, 000 visitors go to that country to spend a vacation in a year. Furthermore, the country’s economy will be downward because of not having tourists. In conclusion, migration, lack of interest and availability of information lead to common culture, which has many negative trends.
Nowadays, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
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people
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have almost same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. There are three plausible reasons for having a similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
throughout the globe. In my opinion, turning identical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences.

The
first
and foremost reason of turning
Possible spelling mistake found.
indistinctive
tradition is that the migration rate has been increasing day by day.
In other words
, immigration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which has risen 10 % over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in the last year, leads to the transformation and conversation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Secondly
, the accessibility of information, new trends and fads, which are available
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
, inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to adopt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Moreover
, information technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
into a global village, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to celebrate same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Finally
, youngsters are more interested to follow international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
rather
than their traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
For example
, “Black Friday”, which
is introduced
in the USA, is celebrating in the Bangladesh in these days and juveniles are more enjoying that day
rather
than their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chaitra
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sankranti
”.
Thus
, young generations are
also
responsible for turning the similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
throughout the world.

Similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental effects on the society and economy. The main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
when local unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
will disappear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. This local tradition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
are the pride of a nation and bear the history of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will lose a way to being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Another major issue will
be faced
by the tourist industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the downturn of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
visit remote areas of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to the unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, which is one of the earning sources of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in the South Africa, around 50, 000 visitors go to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to spend a vacation in a year.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy will be downward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not having tourists.

In conclusion
, migration, lack of interest and availability of information lead to common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trends.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons? Is it a positive trend or a negative trend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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