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Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons? What are the positive and negative aspects? v.1

Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons? What are the positive and negative aspects? v. 1
The revolution of modernization is leading to a bottleneck where people have started to adopt a similar kind of culture in all aspects of life. Over and above that, the desires of the varied human species have started to be synonymous with one another due to the westernization we're going through. However, in both, there are pros and cons. This essay will further elaborate on the same. Firstly, modernity has forced people to adopt the American culture in a good way wherein a country like India is going through a revolution within itself. Moreover, the Indian consumer is evolving to better taste giving rise to the country being counted as a developing economy throughout the globe. For example, the cuisines available in India are vast and not just the typical spicy food the country is known for. However, facts like people losing out on their identity as they all have the same desires is an issue. Furthermore, having a generic goal leads most of the population to do the same thing causing lack of jobs. For example, students are getting into advertising as an occupation because of the American show Mad men portrayed it as a cool job to have. Bringing this essay to an end, culture is the pride one needs to keep while traversing through different stages of life. At the same time, they shouldn't be narrow minded and limit their potential to only theirs. There are 2 sides in this case.
The revolution of modernization is leading to a bottleneck where
people
have
started
to adopt a similar kind of culture in all aspects of life. Over and above that, the desires of the varied human species have
started
to be synonymous with one another due to the
westernization
we're going through.
However
, in both, there are pros and cons. This essay will
further
elaborate on the same.

Firstly
, modernity has forced
people
to adopt the American culture in a
good
way wherein a country like India is going through a revolution within itself.
Moreover
, the Indian consumer is evolving to better taste giving rise to the country
being counted
as a developing economy throughout the globe.
For example
, the cuisines available in India are vast and not
just
the typical spicy food the country
is known
for.

However
, facts like
people
losing out on their identity as they all have the same desires is an issue.
Furthermore
, having a generic goal leads most of the population to do the same thing causing lack of jobs.
For example
, students are getting into advertising as an occupation
because
of the American
show
Mad
men
portrayed it as a cool job to have.

Bringing this essay to an
end
, culture is the pride one needs to
keep
while traversing through
different
stages of life. At the same time, they shouldn't be
narrow minded
and limit their potential to
only
theirs. There are 2 sides
in this case
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons? What are the positive and negative aspects? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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