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Culture is similar around the world. What is the reason? Is it a positive trend or a negative trend? v.1

Culture is similar around the world. What is the reason? Is it a positive trend or a negative trend? v. 1
Culture is the same throughout the world. This essay will discuss the reasons for it and shed some light on whether it is a positive or a negative trend. There are many reasons why culture is becoming the same. Firstly, globalisation has taken over the world. This means that international markets have made their presence in every nook and corner of the planet. As a result, the same things are available to people. Traveling is another reason for this. When someone travels they adopt the culture of that place and bring it back to their home country. Take pottery as an example. This art form has travelled all the way through India to Sri Lanka. Now pottery is a part of Sri Lankan culture. Online shopping is another factor contributing to this. Due to the internet, buying items online has become easy. Global products are available from the comfort of one’s home. For instance, Amazon. com has a specified category for international products. This enables the customer to buy products related to other cultures when needed. In my opinion, this is a negative trend. One of the main reasons is the loss of traditional art and culture. Younger generation, for example, is more attracted towards the glitz and glam of international world. To show off in front of their peers, they value and adopt the culture of other countries. Due to this they do not intend to learn about their own country’s heritage or culture. Furthermore, loss of traditional culture, art and heritage leads to loss of cultural identity. In conclusion, considering the aforementioned view, in my opinion, cultures becoming the same is a negative trend as it leads to loss of cultural identity that makes each nation unique.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
is the same throughout the world. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for it and shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on whether it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is becoming the same.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has taken over the world. This means that international markets have made their presence in every nook and corner of the planet.
As a result
, the same things are available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Traveling is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this. When someone travels they adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of that place and bring it back to their home country. Take pottery as an example. This art form has travelled all the way through India to Sri Lanka.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
pottery is a part of Sri Lankan culture.

Online shopping is another factor contributing to this. Due to the internet, buying items online has become easy. Global products are available from the comfort of one’s home.
For instance
, Amazon.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
has a specified category for international products. This enables the customer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products related to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
when needed.

In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend. One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of traditional art and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Younger generation,
for example
, is more attracted towards the glitz and glam of international world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off in front of their peers, they value and adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of other countries. Due to this they do not intend to learn about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country’s heritage or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, art and heritage leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of cultural identity.

In conclusion
, considering the aforementioned view, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
becoming the same is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend as it leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loss
of cultural identity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
each nation unique.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Culture is similar around the world. What is the reason? Is it a positive trend or a negative trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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