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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people can buy some products anywhere in the world. Is it a positive or negative development. v.1

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people can buy some products anywhere in the world. Is it a positive or negative development. v. 1
Owing to the availability of similar kind of products everywhere, different nations are becoming increasingly similar. It seems to me that this trend has equally significant benefits and drawbacks. Beginning with the positives, this has led to global integrity. People of different communities are increasingly inclined to wear similar clothes, food products, and in the case of technology, similar appliances like microwave ovens and bread toasters are easily available. When it is observed that other cultures are also becoming habitual of the same lifestyle, intercultural respect and open-mindedness amongst the people increase. Moreover, to get a new career and educational opportunities, individuals tend to migrate to foreign countries. The products of certain preference in remote lands make their life much easier because they can buy the products which they are accustomed to since their childhoods. To exemplify, it is a common sight to see foreigners buying Maggi and Pasta in shopping complexes. However, if such foods were not available in other parts of the world, they would have to face certain problems during their stay. Moving to the negative aspects, as more and more countries are assimilating the features of other cultures, their uniquenesses have reduced to a great extent, which is one of the main incentives to attract tourists to other countries. For example, in the past, foreign visitors used to visit Indian state Rajasthan for its rich culture, but their attraction has been lost because local civilians are no longer interested to wear their traditional clothes. Furthermore, other negative consequences can be seen on local trade. Not only the presence of international brands has increased competition, but customers also prefer foreign products over the local ones. For instance, Indian traditional footwear 'Jutti' is not appreciated anymore due to the availability of international footwears such as Puma and Nike. Therefore, it has bad effects on local business and the overall economy as more money is going to foreign countries. In conclusion, it is by no mean clear that numerous countries resemble to others. Though the increasing similarity has introduced several merits and demerits, it appears to me that both have equal weightage.
Owing to the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
everywhere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations are becoming
increasingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
. It seems to me that this trend has
equally
significant benefits and drawbacks.

Beginning with the positives, this has led to global integrity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
communities are
increasingly
inclined to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
clothes, food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and in the case of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
appliances like microwave ovens and bread toasters are
easily
available. When it
is observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures are
also
becoming habitual of the same lifestyle, intercultural respect and open-mindedness amongst the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
increase.
Moreover
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a new career and educational opportunities, individuals tend to migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of certain preference in remote lands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life much easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which they
are accustomed
to since their childhoods. To exemplify, it is a common sight to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
foreigners buying
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maggi
and Pasta in shopping complexes.
However
, if such foods were not available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world, they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face certain problems during their stay.

Moving to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects, as more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are assimilating the features of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures, their
Possible spelling mistake found.
uniquenesses
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a great extent, which is one of the main incentives to attract tourists to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to visit Indian state Rajasthan for its rich culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their attraction has
been lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
civilians are no longer interested to wear their traditional clothes.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trade. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the presence of international brands has increased competition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
customers
also
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones.
For instance
, Indian traditional footwear '
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jutti
' is not appreciated anymore due to the availability of international
Possible spelling mistake found.
footwears
such as Puma and Nike.
Therefore
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business and the
overall
economy as more money is going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
countries.

In conclusion
, it is by no mean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
resemble to others. Though the increasing similarity has introduced several merits and demerits, it appears to me that both have equal weightage.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people can buy some products anywhere in the world. Is it a positive or negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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