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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experie v.28

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Is it a positive or negative development? 28
Nowadays, technological advance has a predominant impact in many countries, which is purchasing the same product almost everywhere in the world. In my opinion, I sincerely believe that modern development is widely detrimental to culture and traditions throughout the world. Firstly, some societies have their characteristics and that could be either a traditional food or conventional wear. By buying a multinational food, the traditional food will lose its popularity, as well as the attribute of society. This could happen because of the prevalence of global food brand such as MacDonald’s. Moreover, if a substantial portion of people tends to have the same clothes as in the other places, the conventional wear will be disappeared. For example. In Japan, the heritage of their ancestors which is kimono may be gradually receded. In fact, it poses a threat not only to tourism industry but also on job opportunities. For instance, when tourists visit many places and find the same items as in their country, they will feel either bored or disappointed due to they cannot find souvenirs that will remind them of the place they visited. Accordingly, this inevitably leads to decrease the number of tourists, and vacancies in tourism industry also decline sharply. This eventually put many people out of work. In conclusion, the counterproductive of purchasing the same products cannot be overlooked. Differences are playing an important role because every community has a special legacy. As a result, this is a glaring omission for both culture and traditions since people try to have the same item anywhere all over the world.
Nowadays, technological advance has a predominant impact in
many
countries, which is purchasing the same product almost everywhere in the world. In my opinion, I
sincerely
believe that modern development is
widely
detrimental to culture and traditions throughout the world.

Firstly
,
some
societies have their characteristics and that could be either a traditional
food
or conventional wear. By buying a multinational
food
, the traditional
food
will lose its popularity,
as well
as the attribute of society. This could happen
because
of the prevalence of global
food
brand such as MacDonald’s.
Moreover
, if a substantial portion of
people
tends to have the same clothes as in the other places, the conventional wear will
be disappeared
.
For example
. In Japan, the heritage of their ancestors which is kimono may be
gradually
receded.

In fact, it poses a threat not
only
to tourism industry
but
also
on job opportunities.
For instance
, when tourists visit
many
places and find the same items as in their country, they will feel either bored or disappointed due to they cannot find souvenirs that will remind them of the place they visited.
Accordingly
, this
inevitably
leads to decrease the number of tourists, and vacancies in tourism industry
also
decline
sharply
. This
eventually
put
many
people
out of work.

In conclusion
,
the counterproductive of
purchasing the same products cannot
be overlooked
. Differences are playing an
important
role
because
every community has a special legacy.
As a result
, this is a glaring omission for both culture and traditions since
people
try to have the same item anywhere all over the world.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Is it a positive or negative development? 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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