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It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 5
In the recent times, raising children has become a tough phase of an each parent's life. Some are of the view that partners should necessarily opt for an appropriate training program in order to develop their children. I am in complete agreement with the above viewpoint as it can help guardians to understand their kid's behaviour and manage their diet. First and foremost, the key reason why I believe that almost every mother and father should go to a parenting course is that it can help them understand their children’s actions. This is because they usually use a variety of signs to communicate during their initial days. For example, children generally cry a lot when they catch a cold or experience sleepiness. Thus, these sought of programs are of paramount importance to get to know the child better and provide them with an adequate response. Furthermore, another significant reason would be that it can help them to figure out the healthier food and supplies. This is because a wide number of people do not generally aware about the nutrients which might help in the development of a child’s brain and body. To illustrate, as per the recent report by P&G, more than half of the brain development of a child happens within the first few years of his or her biological age. Hence, it is crucial to know which food and supplement is best for the development of a pupil. To conclude, it is believed that parents should join tuition classes to learn about how to raise a child. I totally believe in this thought as it can help parents to understand their symbolic languages and grasp a deep understanding of relevant and nutritious food supplies.
In the recent times, raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has become a tough phase of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "an" or "each" is left.
an each
parent's life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the view that partners should
necessarily
opt for an appropriate training program in order to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I am in complete agreement with the above viewpoint as it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
guardians to understand their kid's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and manage their diet.

First
and foremost, the key reason why I believe that almost every mother and father should go to a parenting course is that it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them understand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
actions. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a variety of signs to communicate during their initial days.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
generally
cry a lot when they catch a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
or experience sleepiness.
Thus
, these sought of programs are of paramount importance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
better and provide them with an adequate response.

Furthermore
, another significant reason would be that it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to figure out the healthier food and supplies. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a wide number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
generally
aware about the nutrients which might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
brain and body. To illustrate, as per the recent report by P&G, more than half of the brain development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
happens within the
first
few years of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
biological age.
Hence
, it is crucial to know which food and supplement is best for the development of a pupil.

To conclude
, it
is believed
that parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
tuition classes to learn about how to raise a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. I
totally
believe in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
parents to understand their symbolic languages and grasp a deep understanding of relevant and nutritious food supplies.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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