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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

Globalization and tourism are increasingly changing the products dynamics in terms of proximity in the world. You can get your essentials and necessities even though you travel farthest corners in the world. In this essay we will discuss why some people think that it’s a positive development and some people don’t. The accessibility of different resources makes a person to be more comfortable while travelling or moving to a foreign country. Some people believe that only certain brand of products and items only suit them the most that is why they have to stick to certain choices. For example certain medicines are so important for survival of the individual like blood pressure or diabetes medicine which is required on a daily basis. Also another example could be the availability of a certain brand of wheat four for making flat bread is very essential as a certain brand seems to be suitable for digestion to so many Indians in America over another brands. So it is essential that certain products should be should be available all over the world. Some products are best if they are banned in certain countries. If they are likely to cause a threat or addiction, allergy, infection, crop destruction or infestation it is of the best interests of individual or nation that these products are prohibited while entering a foreign countries. Spreading disease and causing mass destruction could pose threat to the health of generations of people and could cause food shortage also. It could spoil the crops in different cities too. For example, there are certain herbs which destroy crops & there are certain drugs like Marijuana which could helps in relaxation but it is banned in some countries as it is illegal to use due to its addiction. These can hamper the health of the individual & few medicines that can affect other individuals through skin infection. It could spread as communicable diseases too. Therefore banning some products could save the citizens and nation as a whole. Availability of products in non-native countries could be positive at the same time negative too. This essay discussed why it is beneficial and non-beneficial and why few products should be made available and why few things should be rejected before their entry in different countries. We looked at some of the opinion from different people and gave out reasoning behind them.
Globalization and tourism are
increasingly
changing the
An apostrophe may be missing.
products
dynamics in terms of proximity in the world. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your essentials and necessities
even though
you travel
A determiner is probably missing here: “the farthest”.
farthest
corners in the world. In this essay we will discuss why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it’s a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t.

The accessibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person to be more comfortable while travelling or moving to a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
suit them the most
that is
why they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stick to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
choices.
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
medicines are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for survival of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
like blood pressure or diabetes medicine which
is required
on a daily basis.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
another example could be the availability of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
of wheat four for making flat bread is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
seems to be suitable for digestion to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indians in America over another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only “should be”.
should be should be
available all over the world.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are best if they
are banned
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. If they are likely to cause a threat or addiction, allergy, infection, crop destruction or infestation it is of the best interests of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
or nation that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are prohibited
while entering a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Spreading disease and causing mass destruction could pose threat to the health of generations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and could cause food shortage
also
. It could spoil the crops in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cities too.
For example
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
herbs which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
crops & there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
drugs like Marijuana which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in relaxation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is banned
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as it is illegal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
due to its addiction. These can hamper the health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
& few medicines that can affect other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
through skin infection. It could spread as communicable diseases too.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
banning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
could save the citizens and nation as a whole.

Availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in non-native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
at the same time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
too. This essay discussed why it is beneficial and non-beneficial and why few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
should
be made
available and why few things should
be rejected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their entry in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. We looked at
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
opinion from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and gave out reasoning behind them.
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IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy same products anywhere in the world. Do you think that this is a positive development or a negative development? Do you think this is a positive development or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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