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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.8

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 8
There is no denying the fact that the world is transforming into a global village through an enormous development in the technology. People can get their items in every part of the world quickly and without any, which is, in my opinion, a positive step towards the global advancement. As the world has become a global village, the first considerable benefit would be that many goods are readily available and people can have access to almost whatever they desire whenever they want. Assuming a Japanese family who visit Tehran and fancy to eat “Sushi”, a traditional Japanese cuisine. They could easily search on the internet and find specialized restaurants for that special dish in a city that is thousands of kilometers away from their homeland. This shows that due to such globalized world everything could be accessible with no limitations. More importantly, such similarities among nations are bound to have positive economic impacts on a wide range of societies. The example of iPhone, made by an American brand, assembled in China and available across the globe can be a notable case. Engineers for the repair and maintenance work are available in most countries, the majority of whom are local dwellers. Needless to say, apart from the reduction in the unemployment rate, globalization is likely to contribute to the economic prosperity of international communities where a large number of job seekers can be hired in international firms. To sum up, it seems certain that the whole world has been revolutionized by globalization, and I personally would like to assert that the benefits of such improvement outweigh its downside.
There is no denying the fact that the
world
is transforming into a global village through an enormous development in the technology.
People
can
get
their items in every part of the
world
quickly
and without any, which is, in my opinion, a
positive
step towards the global advancement.

As the
world
has become a global village, the
first
considerable benefit would be that
many
goods
are
readily
available and
people
can have access to almost whatever they desire whenever they want. Assuming a Japanese family who visit Tehran and fancy to eat “Sushi”, a traditional Japanese cuisine. They could
easily
search on the internet and find specialized restaurants for that special dish in a city
that is
thousands of kilometers away from their homeland. This
shows
that due to such globalized
world
everything could be accessible with no limitations.

More
importantly
, such similarities among nations
are bound
to have
positive
economic impacts on a wide range of societies. The example of iPhone, made by an American brand, assembled in China and available across the globe can be a notable case. Engineers for the repair and maintenance work are available in most countries, the majority of whom are local dwellers. Needless to say, apart from the reduction in the unemployment rate, globalization is likely to contribute to the economic prosperity of international communities where
a large number of
job seekers can
be hired
in international firms.

To sum up, it seems certain that the whole
world
has
been revolutionized
by globalization, and I
personally
would like to assert that the benefits of such improvement outweigh its downside.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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