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Modern technology, such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of the situation? v.8

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of the situation? v. 8
Nowadays by using such modern technologies like computers and internet working from home had become easier and more convenient. Due to the use of such technologies the time spent in the office decreases and can be used for other beneficial works. There are some pros and cons of this, which I intend to describe in the further paragraph. On the one hand, there are many advantages of modernization by using personal computers with Internet facilities people can work from their home and simultaneously can spend time with the family. Also the working time in the office reduces and can be used for other beneficial works like spending time in developing new skills, to pursue their hobbies and many more. For instance, in the recent situation entire world was suffering from a deadly disease called covid 19, the entire world was under the lockdown, and the people are not allowed to go out and work but people continued their work from home by using the computers and the internet. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages also. By increase in use of the computers instead of doing work people get distracted and become lazy the utilise the time in other activities like watching movies, playing video games, in scrolling the social media sites. Moreover, people's life becomes more sedentary and they spend the maximum time in watching computers which indirectly affect their overall health. In addition, it also leads to less human interaction, which leads to decrease in their confidence around the people. In the conclusion, I would like to pen down, saying that, the advantages overweight the disadvantages. In today's world computer and internet have made peoples lif trouble free and can help them to manage their work even from home.
Nowadays by using such modern technologies like computers and internet working from home had become easier and more convenient. Due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such technologies the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent in the office decreases and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
beneficial works. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons of this, which I intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
in the
further
paragraph.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of modernization by using personal computers with Internet facilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from their home and
simultaneously
can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the family.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the office
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
beneficial works like spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in developing new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, to pursue their hobbies and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
For instance
, in the recent situation entire world was suffering from a deadly disease called
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
, the entire world was under the lockdown, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continued their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home by using the computers and the internet.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
also
. By increase in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the computers
instead
of doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted and become lazy
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'utilise' is correct. If 'utilise' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the utilise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities like watching movies, playing video games, in scrolling the social media sites.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life becomes more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sedentary and
they spend the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in watching computers which
indirectly
affect their
overall
health.
In addition
, it
also
leads to less human interaction, which leads to decrease in their confidence around the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In the conclusion, I would like to pen down, saying that, the advantages overweight the disadvantages.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world computer and internet have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
Possible spelling mistake found.
lif
trouble free and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even from home.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology, such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of the situation? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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