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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.7

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 7
Nowadays, due to the globalization, people can buy many similar products around the world. Personally, I believe that there are both pros and cons about this development. First, this development could be beneficial and convenient for those people who travel a lot. This means that they can buy the same goods in many different countries during their journey without worrying about if they forgot to bring anything with them or not. For instance, people who travel with overweight luggage can buy a new one in any gift shop in any country's airport at any time, so they do not have to concern about the weight of their baggages. On the other hand, this might cause a huge impact to the local people in their own countries. Those local shops may have to compete with the globalization products, in order to earn more money. Furthermore, this could lead the decline of the diversity of goods. If we can buy the same products around the world, the traditional products of the country may replace by those international products. For example, there are many traditional restaurants have been substituted by international fast food restaurants, such as McDonalds and Fridays. In conclusion, there are two sides of one coin, as we benefit from the convenience of globalization, we should also concern about the local objects in our own country.
Nowadays, due to the globalization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
around the world.
Personally
, I believe that there are both pros and cons about this development.

First
, this development could be beneficial and convenient for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who travel a lot. This means that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
during their journey without worrying about if they forgot to bring anything with them or not.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who travel with overweight luggage can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a new one in any gift shop in any country's airport at any time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concern about the weight of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
baggages
.

On the other hand
, this might cause a huge impact to the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Those local shops may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete with the globalization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, in order to earn more money.
Furthermore
, this could lead the decline of the diversity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. If we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
around the world, the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
may replace by those international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traditional restaurants have
been substituted
by international
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food restaurants, such as
Did you mean the fast food chain "McDonald's" (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
McDonalds
and Fridays.

In conclusion
, there are two sides of one coin, as we benefit from the convenience of globalization, we should
also
concern about the local objects in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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