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Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Other thinks that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.6

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Other thinks that it is better to work for different organizations. v. 6
In the previous decades, people used to hesitate while switching their jobs. They work relentlessly in a single organization throughout their lifetime. However, switching your job at different spans of your career is quite subjective, but it has certain pros and cons which one should definitely heed. People are sometimes afraid of dipping their toes into completely new jobs. They believe that having the same job throughout their life gives financial stability. Whereas, the responsibilities on their shoulder could be another reason which resists them to step out of their comfort zone and take a risk to switch their job. In most cases, when people work for the same organization for a long period of time, they stop growing professionally. They are stuck in a 9 to 5 job with zero learning whatsoever which could be detrimental for their career. However, this could also turn out to be a blessing in disguise for them. When you invest your entire career in a single job, you get better increments in your salary as compare to others who are newly appointed and there is a very high possibility that you get promoted to executive level position after certain time period. On the flip side of the coin, switching job gives you more opportunities to learn new technologies. You interact with people of different mindsets which helps you learn about the different corporate culture. For instance, the average tenure of a Google employee is not more than 2 years because they believe that for continuous learning, it is necessary to take steps out of your office and learn about new technologies and people. In conclusion, I would suggest that the benefit of switching jobs in your domain simply outweighs the fact that working in same job gives you financial stability. It is better to work for different companies because it will make you a flexible person to adopt changes.
In the previous decades,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to hesitate while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
switching
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. They work
relentlessly
in a single organization throughout their lifetime.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
switching
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
spans of your career is quite subjective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has certain pros and cons which one should definitely heed.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
afraid of dipping their toes into completely new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. They believe that having the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
throughout their life gives financial stability. Whereas, the responsibilities on their shoulder could be another reason which resists them to step out of their comfort zone and take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to switch their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In most cases
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work for the same organization for a long period of time, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
growing
professionally
. They
are stuck
in a 9 to 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with zero learning whatsoever which could be detrimental for their career.
However
, this could
also
turn out to be a blessing in disguise for them. When you invest your entire career in a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better increments in your salary as compare to others who are
newly
appointed and there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high possibility that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted to executive level position after certain time period.

On the flip side of the coin,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
gives you more opportunities to learn new technologies. You interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
mindsets which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you learn about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
corporate culture.
For instance
, the average tenure of a Google employee is not more than 2 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that for continuous learning, it is necessary to take steps out of your office and learn about new technologies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I would suggest that the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in your domain
simply
outweighs the fact that working in same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
gives you financial stability. It is better to work for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you a flexible person to adopt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Other thinks that it is better to work for different organizations. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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