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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere To what extent do you agree with this view? v.9

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere v. 9
pending capital on the arts by the government is debatable. Some believe it is mere waste of resources to spend on the arts. I strongly disagree with that view. Firstly, the arts play a pivotal role in learning. For generations, teachers have conveyed complicated concepts by drawing sketches. A picture is worth a thousand words. Projects like "Picturing to Learn", "Invisible Worlds: Micro- and Nanothings" are the best examples where elite universities use the art for teaching purposes. Drawings are considered as a universal language. Pictorial representation of a concept is very easy to remember. Investing money to develop this kind of art helps students in learning complex subjects with ease can't be considered as a wasting money. Secondly, the arts don't only have a strong roots in the culture, but also promote international trade. They preserve the civilizations for generations. Forms of the art like weaving, painting, dance and singing reflects the lifestyle of the locality. Ikkat sarees that are exported throughout the world, originated from Telangana is a very good example which promotes culture and generates income to many. Bharatha Natyam, a dance form which depicts the roots of Indian customs is highly sought out form of dance in the world. By funding the arts, government would able to preserve these rare arts that represent the locality and create employment opportunities as well. To conclude, allocating resources on the arts is not a waste. Arts help in learning complicated concepts, preserving the culture and in generating income by increasing employment opportunities. However, spending on the arts should not be at the expense of other sectors like health care, transportation which are more important.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
pending
capital on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe it is mere waste of resources to spend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. I
strongly
disagree with that view.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
play a pivotal role in learning. For generations, teachers have conveyed complicated concepts by drawing sketches. A picture is worth a thousand words. Projects like
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Picturing to Learn
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Invisible Worlds: Micro- and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nanothings
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
are the best examples where elite universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
for teaching purposes. Drawings
are considered
as a universal language. Pictorial representation of a concept is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to remember. Investing money to develop this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students in learning complex subjects with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
can't
be considered
as a wasting money.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a strong
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "root"?
roots
in the culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
promote international trade. They preserve the civilizations for generations. Forms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
like weaving, painting, dance and singing reflects the lifestyle of the locality.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ikkat
sarees that
are exported
throughout the world, originated from Telangana is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example which promotes culture and generates income to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bharatha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Natyam
, a dance form which depicts the roots of Indian customs is
highly
sought out form of dance in the world. By funding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Did you mean "would be able"?
would able
to preserve these rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
that represent the locality and create employment opportunities
as well
.

To conclude
, allocating resources on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is not a waste.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in learning complicated concepts, preserving the culture and in generating income by increasing employment opportunities.
However
, spending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should not be at the expense of other sectors like health care, transportation which are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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