Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Corporal punishment should be banned in schools. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Corporal punishment should be banned in schools. v. 2
Educational approaches have provoked heated debates for decades. Some people would encourage physical punishment at school as they believe it could do wonders for students. Nevertheless, others would argue that this approach can have various negative effects on pupils. Personally, I completely agree that corporal punishment should be prohibited and replaced by different methods. Firstly, corporal punishment is believed to have adverse effects on education. Hitting or smacking students can force them to comply with regulations for a short time due to angst; however, when encountering in the long term, they may rebel and become mischievous. For example, if a teacher hit a student sleeping in their class, after many times, the boy will no longer conform to the rule and try to sleep more. Furthermore, this kind of punishment can spoil the relationship between teachers and students. Consequently, it creates an oppressive atmosphere in classrooms, which will reduce the effectiveness of schooling. Secondly, physical discipline is likely to cause mental issues for pupils. Being exposed to violence at high frequency may lead to the belief that violence is the most effective way to solve an issue. Therefore, they will commit assaults in the future. Additionally, disciplining by thrashing or whipping results in a fear of schools and teachers, which means that they can lose interest in studying. More seriously, children may suffer from panic attacks and anxiety disorders. In conclusion, corporal punishment causes considerable harms to students, hence schools should eliminate this method. My view is that teachers should make good friends with students, and they can have an intimate talk to address the problems.
Educational approaches have provoked heated debates for decades.
Some
people
would encourage physical
punishment
at school as they believe it could do wonders for
students
.
Nevertheless
, others would argue that this approach can have various
negative
effects on pupils.
Personally
, I completely
agree
that corporal
punishment
should
be prohibited
and replaced by
different
methods.

Firstly
, corporal
punishment
is believed
to have adverse effects on education. Hitting or smacking
students
can force them to comply with regulations for a short time due to angst;
however
, when encountering in the long term, they may rebel and become mischievous.
For example
, if a
teacher
hit a
student
sleeping in their
class
, after
many
times, the boy will no longer conform to the
rule
and try to sleep more.
Furthermore
, this kind of
punishment
can spoil the relationship between
teachers
and
students
.
Consequently
, it creates an oppressive atmosphere in classrooms, which will
reduce
the effectiveness of schooling.

Secondly
, physical discipline is likely to cause mental issues for pupils.
Being exposed
to violence at high frequency may lead to the belief that violence is the most effective way to solve an issue.
Therefore
, they will commit assaults in the future.
Additionally
, disciplining by thrashing or whipping results in a fear of schools and
teachers
, which means that they can lose interest in studying. More
seriously
, children may suffer from panic attacks and anxiety disorders.

In conclusion
, corporal
punishment
causes considerable harms to
students
,
hence
schools should eliminate this method. My view is that
teachers
should
make
good
friends with
students
, and they can have an intimate talk to address the problems.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Corporal punishment should be banned in schools. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts