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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v.10

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 10
The rate of crime in many countries is increasing tremendously. Most of these countries are developing nations. This essay will discuss the causes of growing crime, including fighting for power and negative influence of the surroundings. This essay will also focus on the solutions to deal with these causes which includes proactive government, awareness and educational programs. Crime in youth is growing at an abnormal rate. This is mainly because of the negative influence of the society which consists of parents, teachers and children of their own age. In addition to this, battling for power, not only between countries but also humans have accelerated. Power in the form of money and position has encouraged the crime rate. For example, War conditions between India and Pakistan have increased the illegal acts in both the countries. Also, amongst the young generation bullying has risen. This leads to expressing feelings in a negative way. Hence, the number of juvenile crimes is escalated. The solution to these problems is to make government policies impactful. Harsh rules will reduce the percentage of crimes. For instance, introduction of Anti-ragging schemes in schools and colleges will lower the negative impact on youth. Unless and until the awareness programs by the various communities for parents, teacher and students are not conducted, the crime proportion will not discourage. To summarize, many countries are facing problems of accelerated crime rate. This essay discussed the causes which boosted the illegal acts. Causes like hunger for power and adverse impact of the surroundings have lifted the scale of crime. This essay also focused on solutions like tightening of legislative rules and regulations and generating awareness, especially between young generation, so that the rate of offences will slow down.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is increasing
tremendously
. Most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are developing nations. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, including fighting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influence of the surroundings. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
focus on the solutions to deal with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
which includes proactive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, awareness and educational programs.

Crime in youth is growing at an abnormal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influence of the society which consists of parents, teachers and children of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
age.
In addition
to this, battling for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
humans have accelerated.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Power
in the form of money and position has encouraged the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
For example
, War conditions between India and Pakistan have increased the illegal acts in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Also
, amongst the young generation bullying has risen. This leads to expressing feelings in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
way.
Hence
, the number of juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is escalated
.

The solution to these problems is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policies impactful. Harsh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For instance
, introduction of Anti-ragging schemes in schools and colleges will lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on youth. Unless and until the awareness programs by the various communities for parents, teacher and students are not conducted, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
proportion will not discourage.

To summarize
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are facing problems of accelerated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
which boosted the illegal acts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Causes
like hunger for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and adverse impact of the surroundings have lifted the scale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
focused on solutions like tightening of legislative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations and generating awareness,
especially
between young generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
will slow down.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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