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Consumers are faced with increasing number of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them v.1

Consumers are faced with increasing number of advertisements from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them v. 1
The establishment of many new shopping centres, educational institutions and other commercial sites in various regions of the city are included in the new planning of cities. I think it will definitely help the residents of a city as it will provide a lot of job opportunities in various sectors and effect the lifestyle of local people in positive ways. To initiate it, the introduction of various markets, offices and schools will increase the work facilities for local people as nee schools would require more teaching staff as well as companies would require more employees, so, in order to fulfil their requirements, new agencies would entirely depend on degree-holders. Moreover, shopping centres might become a successful business for many traders. For instance, A recently build software testing company in Chandigarh offers job to more than 500 engineering students. As a result, the rate of unemployment would be expected to decrease. Also, more and more people will get a chance to earn their livelihood by working in their native cities instead of moving to other cities in search of jobs. Probing further, the quality of local life in cities would improve due to the advanced facilities and education hubs as children would be able to get a quality education nearby their homes and people can enjoy shopping in their own cities. It can be seen that the developed cities like Gurgaon, offer a luxurious living standard to residents. Effectively, people can enjoy a good status without any kind of difficulties in the field of education and business. To recapitulate, by introducing the variety of facilities, city planners can put a forward step towards the declination of unemployment and at the same time, raises the daily life standard of individuals.
The establishment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, educational institutions and other commercial sites in various regions of the city
are included
in the new planning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the residents of a city as it will provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
job opportunities in various sectors and effect the lifestyle of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways.

To initiate it, the introduction of various markets, offices and schools will increase the work facilities for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as
'nee' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "née"
nee
schools would require more teaching staff
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would require more employees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in order to fulfil their requirements, new agencies would
entirely
depend on degree-holders.
Moreover
, shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
might become a successful business for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traders.
For instance
, A
You used an adverb ('recently') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('build') instead of another adjective.
recently build
software testing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in Chandigarh offers job to more than 500 engineering students.
As a result
, the rate of unemployment would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to decrease.
Also
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to earn their livelihood by working in their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
instead
of moving to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in search of jobs.

Probing
further
, the quality of local life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
due to the advanced facilities and education hubs as children would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a quality education nearby their homes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy shopping in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like Gurgaon, offer a luxurious living standard to residents.
Effectively
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
status without any kind of difficulties in the field of education and business.

To recapitulate, by introducing the variety of facilities, city planners can put a forward step towards the declination of unemployment and at the same time, raises the daily life standard of individuals.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Consumers are faced with increasing number of advertisements from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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