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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourist who visit such places? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience. v.26

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourist who visit such places? v. 26
Why many individual or group of people love to travel despite of other obstacles? Because travelling is a major mind relaxation hobby which cover many minor related hobbies. This may be attracting tourist toward Sahara Desert, Antarctic or K2. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of such type trips, followed by a conclusion. Accepting challenges is the nature of human. Travelling to those areas where it seems to be impossible is significantly challenging for human. Among the advantages of tourism is to give confidence to oneself and achieve mental satisfaction. Also, it is important for learning new experiences in life. I have never experienced a night camping in desert areas in my life, but once I practically did last year with a group of friends, it was an awesome learning for me. Number of travelers love to do a more challenging task or to do sometime make them famous which no one or a few people done in their lives. For examples climbing K2, the world second highest mountain or visiting the area like the Antarctic. On the other hand, we saw many news that most of the time the actual things went wrong against what they planned for the trip, like injuries or deaths due snow-slide. Missing visitors during travelling tribal areas is high risk for international tripper and considered as a biggest disadvantage. Further, travelling to desert area is a real-life threat because there of poisoned insect and snakes are very common especially in nighttime. Moreover, rubbers everyday business to looking visitor and take their stuff by different way. In conclusion, transit is really a crucial job from all aspects, particularly desert or coldest areas of the world, but who adventure lover do not care of these matters, and they always keep moving for their achievements.
Why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individual or group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to travel
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
other obstacles?
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is a major mind relaxation hobby which cover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
minor related hobbies. This may be attracting tourist toward Sahara
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Desert
, Antarctic or K2. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of such type trips, followed by a conclusion.

Accepting challenges is the nature of human.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where it seems to be impossible is
significantly
challenging for human. Among the advantages of tourism is to give confidence to oneself and achieve mental satisfaction.
Also
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for learning new experiences in life. I have never experienced a night camping in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in my life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
once I
practically
did last year with a group of friends, it was an awesome learning for me. Number of travelers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to do a more challenging task or to do sometime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
which no one or a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
done in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. For examples climbing K2, the world second highest mountain or visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
like the Antarctic.

On the other hand
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
Possible agreement error. The noun news seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much news", "a good deal of news".
many news
that most of the time the actual things went
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
against what they planned for the trip, like injuries or deaths due snow-slide. Missing visitors during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
tribal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for international tripper and considered as
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
biggest disadvantage.
Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is a real-life threat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there of poisoned insect and snakes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common
especially
in nighttime.
Moreover
, rubbers everyday business to looking visitor and take their stuff by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way.

In conclusion
, transit is
really
a crucial job from all aspects,
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desert
or coldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
who adventure lover do not care of these matters, and they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
moving for their achievements.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourist who visit such places? v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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