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Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them v.1

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them v. 1
is undoubtable that the majority of the brands around the world will advertise their products in the television as well as billboards. in this essay, I shall further elaborate my point of view by analysing this particular issue. Generally speaking, we are surrounded by advertisements in our daily life. Perhaps, one of the greatest sources of such promotion is from the mass media, for instance, newspaper, television as well as the internet. One important point to be made is superstars are hired by the branding company as an ambassador to promote their products. If one idolise this superstar, they will purchase the product endorsed by them. Another related matter is cigarette is often used as a prop in movies and drama. Whilst smoking is regarded as deleterious o one’s health, youngsters will however smoke for the purpose of imitating their idol. In short, advertisement is considered as a strong method to attract buyers. Despite many advertisements are aired and printed freely, measures should be taken to avoid consumers being exploited. First and foremost, legislation about the contents of advertisement should be created. This is clearly important as many companies tend to promote products which are disadvantages to consumers, such as cigarette. Another point to note is the law should state the advertisers must be honest in terms of the quality of the product or brand which they sell. In a nutshell, it is evident that advertisements have made a great impact on consumers, not least because people would purchase the items advertised on the television and endorsed by superstar. This is however, must be control through legislation in order to protect the consumer’s right and safety.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
undoubtable
that the majority of the brands around the world will advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the television".
in the television
as well
as billboards.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay, I shall
further
elaborate my point of view by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
this particular issue.

Generally
speaking, we
are surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in our daily life. Perhaps, one of the greatest sources of such promotion is from the mass media,
for instance
, newspaper, television
as well
as the internet. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to
be made
is superstars
are hired
by the branding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as an ambassador to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. If one
Possible spelling mistake. 'idolise' is British English.
idolise
this superstar, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
endorsed by them. Another related matter is cigarette is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a prop in movies and drama. Whilst smoking
is regarded
as deleterious o one’s health, youngsters will
however
smoke for the purpose of imitating their idol. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is considered
as a strong method to attract buyers.

Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are aired
and printed
freely
, measures should
be taken
to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
being exploited
.
First
and foremost, legislation about the contents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
should
be created
. This is
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are disadvantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
, such as cigarette. Another point to note is the law should state the advertisers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be honest in terms of the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or brand which they sell.

In a nutshell, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have made a great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
, not least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the items advertised on the television and endorsed by superstar. This is
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be control through legislation in order to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer’s
right and safety.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. What measures can be taken to protect them v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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