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Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years in the world that many cities now are "one big traffic jam". Do you think that this statement is true? What measure can government take to address this problem? v.1

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years in the world that many cities now are "one big traffic jam". Do you think that this statement is true? What measure can government take to address this problem? v. 1
Nowadays, more and more people are in desire of buying car. However, this trend has brought some problems like traffic jam and it is inevitable to tackle this issue. In this essay I will look at the reasons why car ownership is so popular and propose some solutions for it. First and foremost, public transport in many countries, especially in developed, is very expensive and as a consequence people decide to buy car instead of using buses or trains. In Norway, for example, people often have to spend 10 percent of their salary on buses in order to commute to work. The solution is for the government to reduce the ticket prices of public transport. As buses and trains are able to take much more people than cars, they would significantly reduce traffic problems. Another problem is that most people consider cars as the most convenient way to get from A to B. This is because driving cars does not need as much effort as travelling on foot. As a result, many people go to even small distances like a shopping centers and restaurant by car. These places are often swarming with people and are the main cause of the traffic congestion in city centers. In my country, it is common to see vehicles on the road that get stuck in traffic, but are full of clothes and gifts. The way forward might be to put ban on entering these places by any means of transport, except for bicycle. This will also aid to reduce air and noise pollution and enable people to lead a healthy life. To sum up, cars have some advantages over other means of transport. Travelling by car is cheaper than buses or trains and it easy to travel by car than on foot. My view is that the main responsibility for solving this problem lies with government.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in desire of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
However
, this trend has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam and it is inevitable to tackle this issue. In this essay I will look at the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for it.

First
and foremost, public
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transport
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
especially
in developed, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and as a consequence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
instead
of using buses or trains. In Norway,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend 10 percent of their salary on buses in order to commute to work. The solution is for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the ticket prices of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. As buses and trains are able to take much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, they would
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems.

Another problem is that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
as the most convenient way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from A to B. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
does not need as much effort as travelling on foot.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
distances like a shopping centers and restaurant by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. These places are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
swarming with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and are the main cause of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion in city centers. In my country, it is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
vehicles on the road that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are full of clothes and gifts. The way forward might be to put ban on entering these places by any means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
bicycle. This will
also
aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air and noise pollution and enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to lead a healthy life.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages over other means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. Travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is cheaper than buses or trains and
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
easy to travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
than on foot. My view is that the main responsibility for solving this problem lies with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years in the world that many cities now are "one big traffic jam". Do you think that this statement is true? What measure can government take to address this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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