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Some people think that the fittest and strongest individuals of the team can achieve success in sports, while others believe that success depends on mental attitude. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that the fittest and strongest individuals of the team can achieve success in sports, while others believe that success depends on mental attitude. v. 1
Although many specialists affirm that successful sports careers depend on the strength and fitness of the player, many others think that mental attitude is the key to success in sport competitions. In this essay, I will discuss both standpoints and explain why I think mind attitudes are the essence of triunph whereas the body aptitudes are not as important. Some sport trainers claim that the key to success is being strong. Furthermore, trained and firm muscles can make you faster and able to overcome the challenges of any game. For instance, basketball players need to be strong to jump high and run fast without getting injured at the end of every match. Resistance, velocity and strength are the main reasons specialists agree that the individuals who posess these attributes are the ones that earn the most medals. In contrast, it is stated by many that mental attitudes are much more important than the body fitness. Henceforth, mind training and plannig strategies ahead of games are essetial skills for the purpose of earning fame in sports environment. For example, last paper on strategies por sportsvolleyball players usually plan strategies for every different part of the match and follow these steps during the actual game. Moreover, these strategies make them feel confident and empowered. Therefore the mental attitudes are skills needed not only for mental health but also for sports fame. In conclusion while some would attribute sports achievements to being fit and strong, there are many others which consider that it is a matter of mental preparedness. In my opinion, both sides should be considered thoroughly, because it is useless to be strong if the game is not strategically planned. Nevertheless, the most important characteristic to succed in sports is mental attitude
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
specialists affirm that successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
careers depend on the strength and fitness of the player,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
is the key to success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
competitions. In this essay, I will discuss both standpoints and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitudes
are the essence of
Possible spelling mistake found.
triunph
whereas the body aptitudes are not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
trainers claim that the key to success is being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
.
Furthermore
, trained and firm muscles can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you faster and able to overcome the challenges of any game.
For instance
, basketball players need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
to jump high and run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
without getting injured at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of every match. Resistance, velocity and strength are the main reasons specialists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the individuals who
Possible spelling mistake found.
posess
these attributes are the ones that earn the most medals.

In contrast
, it
is stated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitudes
are much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the body fitness. Henceforth, mind training and
Possible spelling mistake found.
plannig
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategies
ahead of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
essetial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for the purpose of earning fame in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
environment.
For example
, last paper on
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "strategies'" or "strategy's"?
strategies
Possible spelling mistake found.
por
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportsvolleyball
players
usually
plan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategies
for every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the match and follow these steps during the actual game.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strategies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel confident and empowered.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitudes
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
needed not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
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mental
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fame.

In conclusion
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would attribute
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sports
achievements to
being fit
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others which consider that it is a matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
preparedness. In my opinion, both sides should
be considered
thoroughly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is useless to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
if the game is not
strategically
planned.
Nevertheless
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
characteristic to
Possible spelling mistake found.
succed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people think that the fittest and strongest individuals of the team can achieve success in sports, while others believe that success depends on mental attitude. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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