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Consumer goods have become the most important of people's lives. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v.1

Consumer goods have become the most important of people's lives. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1
Today, a lot of nations around the world, lifestyle choices are becoming one of the biggest reasons for health issues among its general public. This essay will outline certain causes and remedies to overcome. Firstly, sedentary work culture has left very little time of physical activity. Also people preferring fast food without any nutritional benefits. Nowadays, societies are facing issues with poor well-being mainly due to people devoting less hours for any sort of exercise. Moreover, today fast faced the world and work related competition most people are putting additional effort and stay in office for long hours, thus leaving mentally and physically drained out. In such a scenario not many are taking enough outdoor activity to keep themselves fit. Secondly, with a paucity of breaks to make healthy meals, today most of the public rely on fast food and ready to eat packets which are high in sugar and salts leading to most of the heart and sugar ailments. For example, a recent study done by WHO among working people 90% are having serious health issues, mainly due lack of time. Eventually, with little effort from regulators and proper knowledge one can attain a healthy life. To begin, companies and employers should have proper policies and guidance for employee’s well being. Like yearly check-up by doctors, those who need any assistance putting them in corrective steps. One can have facilities like gym, yoga or other facilities to its employees. In addition, respective government should keep a tab on unhealthy makers of unhealthy foods. With proper labelling and steep penalties for violators. This will help consumers to make informed decisions while purchasing any food items. In countries like Finland, there has dedicated cycle track connecting entire town, which motivates commuters using them, which can be a win –win solution people have physical activity as well as pollution will also be in check. In conclusion, every person is responsible for their health and un-healthy society is strained to any country. So, it should also be the responsibility of government to promote and help people follow good health choices.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
nations around the world, lifestyle choices are becoming one of the biggest reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues among its
Consider using "public".
general public
. This essay will outline certain causes and remedies to overcome.
Firstly
, sedentary work culture has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time of physical activity.
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preferring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
without any nutritional benefits.

Nowadays, societies are facing issues with poor well-being
mainly
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
devoting
Did you mean "fewer hours"?
less hours
for any sort of exercise.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
faced the world and work related competition most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are putting additional effort and stay in office for long hours,
thus
leaving mentally and
physically
drained out. In such a scenario not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
outdoor activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit.
Secondly
, with a paucity of breaks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
healthy meals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
most of the public rely on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and ready to eat packets which are high in sugar and salts leading to most of the heart and sugar ailments.
For example
, a recent study done by WHO among working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
90% are having serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues,
mainly
due lack of time.

Eventually
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort from regulators and proper knowledge one can attain a healthy life. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and employers should have proper policies and guidance for employee’s
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. Like yearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-up by doctors, those who need any assistance putting them in corrective steps. One can have facilities like gym, yoga or other facilities to its employees.
In addition
, respective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a tab on unhealthy makers of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. With proper labelling and steep penalties for violators. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
informed decisions while purchasing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items. In countries like Finland, there has dedicated cycle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
connecting entire town, which motivates commuters using them, which can be a
A dash was used instead of a hyphen. Did you mean: "win-win".
win –win
solution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have physical activity
as well
as pollution will
also
be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
.

In conclusion
, every person is responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-healthy
society
is strained
to any country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it should
also
be the responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to promote and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
choices.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Consumer goods have become the most important of people's lives. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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