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Computers are now the basis of the modern world They should be introduced into classrooms and their programs used for direct teaching purposes Argue both sides and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples v.2

Computers are now the basis of the modern world They should be introduced into classrooms and their programs used for direct teaching purposes Argue both sides and give your opinion 2
In this modern era, computers are thought to be the pillar of the world. Some people believe they should be used in the classrooms and also pupils should be taught using their programs. This essay will outline the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in classrooms. On the one hand, computers are believed to be the basis of modern world. Some people are of the believe that it should be introduced into the classrooms for learning purposes. There are 2 reasons why it should not be introduced in classrooms. First of all, it will void the essence of traditional way of teaching and learning by pupils. Pupils could be so engrossed by computers and won' t deem it fit to ask teachers questions when they are not sure of what they are learning. Therefore, those who don' t have upper learning capabilities as their peers will not get help to improve. Secondly, also the teachers would be rendered useless and this could also have a detrimental effect on the teaching job as a profession. On the other hand, as most things are computerized in this modern world, it will be beneficial for children to learn how to use computers at an early age. Firstly, introducing it into classrooms will give pupils an idea of they are and also used for. Also, when they are grown ups it will be of advantage to them in their chosen career. Therefore, giving them enough confidence to tackle somethings that as to do with computers. Secondly, using computers directly for teaching will help pupils that finds it difficult to learn in a group. Thereby, getting easily distracted by what others are doing or saying. Thus boosting their confidence and helping them concentrate more with their work. Also, teachers would be kept in their jobs to give guide the pupils. In Conclusion, as computers have become the basis of modern era, I believe they should be introduced into classrooms and also computer programs should be used for direct teaching purposes to help pupils know the basis of computers and likewise this will help boost their confidence when they need to use one later in life.
In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era, computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be the pillar of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the classrooms and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
should
be taught
using their programs. This essay will outline the advantages and disadvantages of using computers in classrooms.

On the one hand, computers
are believed
to be the basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that it should
be introduced
into the classrooms for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
purposes. There are 2 reasons why it should not
be introduced
in classrooms.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it will void the essence of traditional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pupils
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
engrossed by computers and
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t deem it fit to ask teachers questions when they are not sure of what they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Therefore
, those who
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t have upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
capabilities as their peers will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
Secondly
,
also
the teachers would
be rendered
useless and this could
also
have a detrimental effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
job as a profession.

On the other hand
, as most things
are computerized
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
world, it will be beneficial for children to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers at an early age.
Firstly
, introducing it into classrooms will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of they are and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for.
Also
, when they are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
grown ups
it will be of advantage to them in their chosen career.
Therefore
, giving them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
confidence to tackle somethings that as to do with computers.
Secondly
, using computers
directly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
that finds it difficult to learn in a group. Thereby, getting
easily
distracted by what others are doing or saying.
Thus
boosting their confidence and helping them concentrate more with their work.
Also
, teachers would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in their jobs to give guide the pupils.

In Conclusion
, as computers have become the basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era, I believe they should
be introduced
into classrooms and
also
computer programs should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
purposes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
know the basis of computers and
likewise
this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
boost their confidence when they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
one later in life.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Computers are now the basis of the modern world They should be introduced into classrooms and their programs used for direct teaching purposes Argue both sides and give your opinion 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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