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Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. v. 1
There is no denying that computers and technology are leading the world, hence, they should be used in any education process. Nevertheless, they could be used in the wrong way and cause a serious damage. In my opinion, technology should definitely be implemented in class learning with a control and balance. On the one hand, using technology can provide different advantages to any education process, among them: saving time to students and teachers as the information is easily accessible, providing students with different tools such as games and interactions to make the process more enjoyable and fun, avoiding any information loss as everything can be saved in the cloud and also can help to save the environment as there is not paper use. On the other hand, education is not only about providing technical knowledge, it is also important to teach values and manners and this can only be taught by human teachers. Research has found that, students who have received education by computers only are unable to tackle daily issues, as they did not have the opportunity to interact with other people and learn about real situations, they have also lack of life lessons which are the most important to learn. In conclusion, Technology can be very helpful when talking about technical knowledge, however, traditional education given by educators should be used as well. In my opinion, the best way to educate and shape professionals is integrating both methods, creating a balance between strong knowledge and students able to tackle with any daily situation.
There is no denying that computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are leading the world,
hence
, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
process.
Nevertheless
, they could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way and cause
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "serious damage".
a serious damage
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should definitely
be implemented
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
learning with a control and balance.

On the one hand, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advantages to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
process, among them: saving time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and teachers as the information is
easily
accessible, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tools such as games and interactions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the process more enjoyable and fun, avoiding any information loss as everything can
be saved
in the cloud and
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save the environment as there is not paper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about providing technical knowledge, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to teach values and manners and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taught
by human teachers. Research has found that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have received
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are unable to tackle daily issues, as they did not have the opportunity to interact with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and learn about real situations, they have
also
lack of life lessons which are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to learn.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful when talking about technical knowledge,
however
, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by educators should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as well
. In my opinion, the best way to educate and shape professionals is integrating both methods, creating a balance between strong knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
able to tackle with any daily situation.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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