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computer technology has had more of a negative than a positive impact on society. How far do you agree with this statement? v.1

computer technology has had more of a negative than a positive impact on society. How far v. 1
Several studies worldwide has linked job satisfaction with overall well being of a person, since he spends two third of his life working. Multiple factors are associated with job fulfilment and the expectation for same merely meets for the majority of workers. This essay will discuss contributing elements to occupational satisfaction and explain why it is an unreal supposition. There are various work related facets that contribute to job contentment. To begin with, one crucial factor is whether the field is an ones' choice of career or not. Unfortunately, in todays competitive and materialistic world, people choose a profession that pays attractive some of salaries rather than following their interests. Another important aspect is work environment. This means co-operative boss, helpful colleagues, appropriate and adequate appraisals and incentives at work. At present, however, this is not the scenario in most of the occupation, consequently there is a rise in frustration towards job leading to psychological distress with physical symptoms like migraines, hypertension, depression, obesity to name but a few. A recent study conducted among 1500 employees of one multinational company in India found high levels of stress associated with low job satisfaction. Thus, multiple factors are essential for job satisfaction and it is a prominent element of individual wellbeing. Sadly, as important is job satisfaction for employee's well being, the expectancy for it is merely met. This is to say, flexible and co-operative work environment exist in rare occasions only. What is more, favouritism, discrimination still present in most of the work settings which deprive deserving candidates for promotion or appraisal. A survey report published in economic forum in New York in 2015 stated that 63% of corporate workers agreed promotions were made on the basis of preference rather than to a qualified candidate. Therefore, it will be true to say, the majority of workers do not find satisfaction in the work as expected. In conclusion, several factors lead to professional contentedness, thus its likelihood for all workers is barely real. If employers need quality of service then they should work on the above mentioned factors to improve job contentment among employees.
Several studies worldwide has linked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
with
overall
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of a person, since he spends two third of his life working. Multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are associated
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
and the expectation for same
merely
meets for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
. This essay will discuss contributing elements to occupational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it is an unreal supposition.

There are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
related facets that contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
contentment. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
is whether the field is an ones' choice of career or not. Unfortunately, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
competitive and materialistic world,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose a profession that pays attractive
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the salaries") or simply say "some salaries".
some of salaries
rather
than following their interests. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment. This means co-operative boss, helpful colleagues, appropriate and adequate appraisals and incentives at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. At present,
however
, this is not the scenario in most of the occupation,
consequently
there is a rise in frustration towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
leading to psychological distress with physical symptoms like migraines, hypertension, depression, obesity to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few. A recent study conducted among 1500 employees of one multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in India found high levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
associated with low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
Thus
, multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
are essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and it is a prominent element of individual
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
.

Sadly
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
for employee's
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
, the expectancy for it is
merely
met. This is to say, flexible and co-operative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment exist in rare occasions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
What is more
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
favouritism
, discrimination
still
present in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
settings which deprive deserving candidates for promotion or appraisal. A survey report published in economic forum in New York in 2015 stated that 63% of corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
promotions
were made
on the basis of preference
rather
than to a qualified candidate.
Therefore
, it will be true to say, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
do not find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.

In conclusion
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
lead to professional contentedness,
thus
its likelihood for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
is
barely
real. If employers need quality of service then they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on the above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
contentment among employees.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay computer technology has had more of a negative than a positive impact on society. How far v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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