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Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both v.3

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. 3
For many, the ultimate goal of life is to find happiness. However, the definition of it varies widely as it is subjective and depends on various factors such as life experiences and expectations. Generally, it is stated that the most difficult word to define is happiness because it hugely depends on the individual who is defining it. For some, who grew up facing financial hardship tend to believe acquiring wealth gives bliss. While others who were reared up in elite families, but lacked love and affection think being loved and cared for provides gratification. Apart from these, there are people who lived in fear and conflict, for them finding peace and security might be the meaning of contentment. For example, one well known spiritual leader once quoted, ' happiness is resolution of inner conflicts', since there are individual reasons of these conflicts; therefore it differs person to person. There are numerous elements imperative to achieve solace. Some common includes family relationship, money and peace. Family relation is important because it makes a huge impact on psychological well being of an individual. This means one cannot be happy if his relationship with loved ones is strained even if he has all the materialistic luxuries. For instance, many movie superstars often reported having depression that was the result of broken relations. The second crucial key to contentedness is wealth. This is because money can only deliver quality life and is the main culprit for disputes in the most of the houses. One survey conducted in Nepal found that financial reasons were the primary cause of domestic violence and broken families. Thirdly, it is argued that peacefulness gives optimum delight. This usually means stress free inner self in terms of individual and safe society in terms of community. These two facets, in fact, can include every other things as mentioned above. In conclusion, one single definition of happiness is challenging to find because it is entirely subjective and relies on many factors such as familial bond, property and sereneness.
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, the ultimate goal of life is to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
However
, the definition of it varies
widely
as it is subjective and depends on various factors such as life experiences and expectations.

Generally
, it
is stated
that the most difficult word to define is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
hugely
depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is defining it. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
grew up facing financial hardship tend to believe acquiring wealth gives bliss. While others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were reared
up in elite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lacked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and cared for provides gratification. Apart from these, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in fear and conflict, for them finding peace and security might be the meaning of contentment.
For example
, one well known spiritual leader once quoted,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is resolution of inner conflicts', since there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
reasons of these conflicts;
therefore
it differs person to person.

There are numerous elements imperative to achieve solace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
common includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship, money and peace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
relation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a huge impact on psychological
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. This means one cannot be happy if his relationship with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones
is strained
even if he has all the materialistic luxuries.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
movie superstars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reported having depression that was the result of broken relations. The second crucial key to contentedness is wealth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
money can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
deliver quality life and is the main culprit for disputes in the most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. One survey conducted in Nepal found that financial reasons were the primary cause of domestic violence and broken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Thirdly
, it
is argued
that peacefulness gives optimum delight. This
usually
means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free inner self in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and safe society in terms of community. These two facets, in fact, can include every other things as mentioned above.

In conclusion
, one single definition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is challenging
Did you mean "finding"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
entirely
subjective and relies on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such as familial bond, property and sereneness.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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