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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 108 v.26

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 108 v. 26
Nowadays, to gain a better job requires certain knowledge or abilities which can be acquired from tertiary education and previous experience. Thus, some people argue over whether university qualification or practical experience is a proper way. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will discuss here. On the one hand, higher education equips students with theories and practical skills which relate to the certain occupation. For instance, teachers must master specific subject, an education system, and psychology in order that they can teach well and avoid some mistakes in the teaching process. It is often said that university is a proper place to educate students for a long time, so that they are capable of facing with works which need complex skills. Another reason is a degree certificate since most of the kinds of job have this prerequisite for applicants such as accountants. Moreover. This certificate has been admitted its quality and been accepted by many companies. On the other hand, short-term training and direct experience are relevant to blue-collar workers or profession such as shop assistants. It is believed that these professions need only simple techniques and their employees are able to demonstrate or prove their quality when they are working. Furthermore, these enable to do on-the job training if that is necessitated. The second reason is a gift, for example, gifted footballers talented artists. The gifted people necessitate to practise more to improve their their talent and they generally practise in the special training centre. It is commonly known that they are self-taught people. Overall, On graduation, people are officially acknowledged by companies according to their certification and their working knowledge, so the career prospect will be better then others who experience in their field.
Nowadays, to gain a better job requires certain knowledge or abilities which can
be acquired
from tertiary education and previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue over whether university qualification or practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is a proper way. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will discuss here.

On the one hand, higher education equips students with theories and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which relate to the certain occupation.
For instance
, teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
master specific subject, an education system, and psychology in order that they can teach well and avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes in the teaching process. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that university is a proper place to educate students for a long time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are capable of facing with works which need complex
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Another reason is a degree certificate since most of the kinds of job have this prerequisite for applicants such as accountants.
Moreover
. This certificate has
been admitted
its quality and been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On the other hand
, short-term training and direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are relevant to blue-collar workers or profession such as shop assistants. It
is believed
that these professions need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
simple techniques and their employees are able to demonstrate or prove their quality when they are working.
Furthermore
, these enable to do on-the job training if that
is necessitated
. The second reason is a gift,
for example
, gifted footballers talented artists. The gifted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
necessitate to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible typo: you repeated a word
their their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
talent and
they
generally
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
in the special training
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. It is
commonly
known that they are self-taught
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Overall
, On graduation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
officially
acknowledged by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
according to their certification and their working knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the career prospect will be
Did you mean "better than"?
better then
others who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in their field.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 108 v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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