Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.20

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. 20
There is a debate about the best strategy to land a desirable job. Some argue that getting a tertiary qualification is the surest path to get hired while others claim that acquiring experience and interpersonal skills is better. I concur with the latter point of view due to following reason. To begin with, proponents contend that completing tertiary education is the most appropriate approach to get hired. An academic qualification provides a golden opportunity for students in order to broaden their knowledge about their field of study, which is essential for their prospective careers. Nevertheless, I think there are mismatches between what students will experience at work and what they have learned theoretically at academic sites. Hence, they can rarely apply their knowledge at their job. Alongside proponent’s belief, opponents claim that focusing on developing soft skills is an effective way to find a suitable job. Problem solving and communication skill can be named, but a few. Applicants who have have problem solving skill rarely give up when they confront with challenges, and they continue to work until they address all aspects of the problem. As a result, employers tend to employ them as problems are inevitable during the work. Besides, communication skill plays crucial role in finding an appropriate career. Take an international company as an example. Such a company needs to introduce their products to other companies on the other side of the world. Therefore, employees who can communicate well are the top of the pecking order as they can persuade other companies to purchase their product. In conclusion, although some people believe that quantifiable skills are the most crucial factor to find an appropriate job, I think it would be better for students to improve their social skills.
There is a debate about the best strategy to land a desirable job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that getting a tertiary qualification is the surest path to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired while others claim that acquiring experience and interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is better. I concur with the latter point of view due to following reason.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, proponents contend that completing tertiary education is the most appropriate approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired. An academic qualification provides a golden opportunity for students in order to broaden their knowledge about their field of study, which is essential for their prospective careers.
Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are mismatches between what students will experience at work and what they have learned
theoretically
at academic sites.
Hence
, they can rarely apply their knowledge at their job.

Alongside proponent’s belief, opponents claim that focusing on developing soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is an effective way to find a suitable job.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Problem
solving and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
can
be named
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few. Applicants who
Possible typo: you repeated a word
have have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
rarely give up when they confront with challenges, and they continue to work until they address all aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
As a result
, employers tend to employ them as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are inevitable during the work.
Besides
, communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
plays crucial role in finding an appropriate career. Take an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as an example. Such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
needs to introduce their products to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the world.
Therefore
, employees who can communicate well are the top of the pecking order as they can persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their product.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that quantifiable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are the most crucial factor to find an appropriate job, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be better for students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts