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Violence in films has led to a number of problems in society. What are these problems and how can they be solved? v.1

Violence in films has led to a number of problems in society. What are these problems and how can they be solved? v. 1
Violence in films is responsible for most of the recently emerging problems in society. There are few solutions to tackle this problem. Most of the films released nowadays, including the children's movies, are packed with violence. It is wise to avoid gruesome scenes in children's films as it can have a lasting effect on kids. The developing minds of children, are wired to absorb all the information available to them and violent scenes, which they see in their programs, can leave their mind filled with wrong thoughts. This issue can later convert into an aggressive behaviour in children. So, brutal scenes must be completely avoided in children's movies. Violent scenes from adult movies should also be reduced to a large extent as it can equally create issues in the society. Constantly watching of cruel scenes, can cause a negative effect in the mind of adults too. If we take a closer into the lives of serial killers, we can analyse that, they have had their entire childhood either experiencing violence or watching violent films. This can lead to psychological issue which turns them into psychopaths. Not everyone watching violence turns into psychopaths, but care must be taken to avoid such issues happening. The easy availability of violence clips, torture or murder videos on the internet should be limited. In conclusion, violence in movies should be reduced because it is one of the main reasons for many problems in society. The Government should make sure about restricting the availability of horrifying clips on the internet and should make an effort to advertise news that will have a positive impact on everybody's lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violence
in films is responsible for most of the recently emerging problems in society. There are few solutions to tackle this problem.

Most of the films released nowadays, including the children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
,
are packed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
. It is wise to avoid gruesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
in children's films as it can have a lasting effect on kids.

The developing minds of children,
are wired
to absorb all the information available to them and violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
, which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in their programs, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their mind filled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
thoughts. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
can later convert into an aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, brutal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be completely avoided in children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. Violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
from adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a large extent as it can
equally
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in the society.

Constantly
watching of cruel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
, can cause a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect in the mind of adults too. If we take a closer into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of serial killers, we can
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
that, they have had their entire childhood either experiencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
or watching violent films. This can lead to psychological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
which turns them into psychopaths.

Not everyone watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
turns into psychopaths,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to avoid such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
happening. The easy availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
clips, torture or murder videos on the internet should
be limited
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is one of the main reasons for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in society. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure about restricting the availability of horrifying clips on the internet and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to advertise news that will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on everybody's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Violence in films has led to a number of problems in society. What are these problems and how can they be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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