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Completing university education is thought by some as the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Completing university education is thought by some as the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 1
Securing a good job is almost every person’s dream and there are several avenues one may follow in order to achieve that aspiration. Some believe that acquiring a university degree is the most definite way of getting a good job, whilst others believe that gaining relevant experience and soft skills increases one’s chances of getting hired on a good job. My opinion is that a degree is very essential for the purpose of securing the job, but in order for someone to thrive in the business world, one would need to develop more soft skills and acquire relevant experience. Graduating from a tertiary institution such as a university proves an individual’s capabilities in several aspects. It is an indication that a person can work under pressure, has the ability to learn and is intellectually capable. Most organizations use a university degree as a yardstick to measure one’s capabilities. I believe that for the purpose of passing through the recruitment stage, a tertiary qualification is quite necessary and hence people should try to acquire one if resources permit. On the other hand, the pace at which business processes are changing on a day to day basis presents an enormous challenge to fresh graduates. In most cases, what students are taught at college is outdated and may not apply in a real business environment. After passing the first hurdle or getting a job, I believe that college graduates would need to work extremely hard in order to acquire the necessary knowledge and soft skills in order for them to thrive and become established in the business world. In conclusion, both a graduate degree and work experience are essential for a successful business career. A graduate degree presents a better opportunity for someone to get hired for a good job, whilst work experience and soft skills are all very key for someone to perform and grow in the business world.
Securing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is almost every person’s dream and there are several avenues one may follow in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to achieve that aspiration.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that acquiring a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
way of getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, whilst others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that gaining relevant experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
increases one’s chances of getting hired on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. My opinion is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for the purpose of securing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
for someone to thrive in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
world, one would need to develop more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and acquire relevant experience.

Graduating from a tertiary institution such as a university proves an individual’s capabilities in several aspects. It is an indication that a person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under pressure, has the ability to learn and is
intellectually
capable. Most organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
as a yardstick to measure one’s capabilities. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that for the purpose of passing through the recruitment stage, a tertiary qualification is quite necessary and
hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should try to acquire one if resources permit.

On the other hand
, the pace at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
processes are changing on a
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
basis presents an enormous challenge to fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
.
In most cases
, what students
are taught
at college
is outdated
and may not apply in a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
environment. After passing the
first
hurdle or getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
would need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to acquire the necessary knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
for them to thrive and become established in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
world.

In conclusion
, both a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience are essential for a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
career. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
presents a better opportunity for someone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
key for someone to perform and grow in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
world.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some as the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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