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Some people think that shops should sell food products from the local areas rather than products from other countries. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that shops should sell food products from the local areas rather than products from other countries. v. 1
It is thought by many persons that supermarkets should sell locally produced food instead of products from another country. In my opinion, I completely agree that only food products from local area should be sold in stores. Therefore, this essay will discuss reasons as to why only locally produced food should be sold in supermarkets. Firstly, one of the evident benefits of this is that it will positively affect the economic growth of the country. This means that the revenue generated would significantly increase because the local manufacturers are willing to pay their tax due to increase in patronage. For instance, a special survey by the West African bureau of statistics uncovered that there was a 70 percent increase in the revenue generated in Nigeria from locally made food. This reveals the extent to which selling only locally made food can be beneficial in a country. Furthermore, another notable benefit is that it will reduce the level of unemployment. Since manufacturers and entrepreneurs will require more workers for production in order to meet up with the high demand of the products for consumers, this will result in creating of more jobs. For example, according to a 2016 report by the New York times that the unemployment rate of Singapore decreased because many jobs were available in local companies and most of this was attributed to selling only locally produced food in the market. Finally, this will encourage agricultural activities. Most raw materials used in food production are sourced from the farm. For example, tinned tomatoes processing companies require fresh tomatoes for production, due to the demand for farm produce it will boost cultivating of tomatoes in the country. In conclusion, the advantages of selling only locally produced food in the country are enormous in my opinion. Therefore, the government should enact a law for imported products to be banned and ensure only local food are sold in the market.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons that supermarkets should sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from another country. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
area should
be sold
in stores.
Therefore
, this essay will discuss reasons as to why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
be sold
in supermarkets.

Firstly
, one of the evident benefits of this is that it will
positively
affect the economic growth of the country. This means that the revenue generated would
significantly
increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
manufacturers are willing to pay their tax due to increase in patronage.
For instance
, a special survey by the West African bureau of statistics uncovered that there was a 70 percent increase in the revenue generated in Nigeria from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This reveals the extent to which selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be beneficial in a country.

Furthermore
, another notable benefit is that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of unemployment. Since manufacturers and entrepreneurs will require more workers for production in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with the high demand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for consumers, this will result in creating of more jobs.
For example
, according to a 2016 report by the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York times
that the unemployment rate of Singapore decreased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs were available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and most of this
was attributed
to selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the market.

Finally
, this will encourage agricultural activities. Most raw materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production
are sourced
from the farm.
For example
, tinned tomatoes processing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
require fresh tomatoes for production, due to the demand for farm produce it will boost cultivating of tomatoes in the country.

In conclusion
, the advantages of selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the country are enormous in my opinion.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should enact a law for imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
be banned
and ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are sold
in the market.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that shops should sell food products from the local areas rather than products from other countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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