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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend? You should write at least 250 words. v.43

Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 43
It is argued by some that the cost involved in preserving and retaining public libraries is unnecessary considering the internet can now perform their functions. In my opinion, I believe that the internet has taken away the usefulness of libraries and the essence of maintaining public libraries has been defeated. Firstly, the internet has made searching for books and materials seamless. In other words, information on any topic or subject are available online and people can easily access them. This saves time and efforts that should have ordinarily been spent accessing libraries and searching the shelves for relevant information. For example, students need not spend long hours searching for books or waiting for books to be returned before they can access them. They can simply go online and get whatever information they require. Another point to consider is the convenience associated with using the internet. Through online applications, information can be sourced at any time, regardless of the location. To expatiate, it is difficult to access libraries at certain time of the day or when you are at some particular locations unlike the internet that is readily available at any time. As a result, this can motivate people to surf for materials relevant to their progress at any time, thereby improving their study habits. For instance, various studies have shown that young people have increased in knowledge because of the availability of information online. To conclude, the usefulness of libraries has significantly reduced because of the introduction of internet and I believe that maintaining these facilities is a total waste of funds and resources which ought to be used to support other activities needed for societal growth.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the cost involved in preserving and retaining public libraries is unnecessary considering the internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
perform their functions. In my opinion, I believe that the internet has taken away the usefulness of libraries and the essence of maintaining public libraries has
been defeated
.

Firstly
, the internet has made searching for books and materials seamless.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on any topic or subject are available online and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
easily
access them. This saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and efforts that should have
ordinarily
been spent
accessing libraries and searching the shelves for relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
For example
, students need not spend long hours searching for books or waiting for books to
be returned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they can access them. They can
simply
go online and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
they require.

Another point to consider is the convenience associated with using the internet. Through online applications,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
be sourced
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, regardless of the location. To expatiate, it is difficult to access libraries at certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the day or when you are at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular locations unlike the internet
that is
readily
available at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
As a result
, this can motivate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to surf for materials relevant to their progress at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, thereby improving their study habits.
For instance
, various studies have shown that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have increased in knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
online.

To conclude
, the usefulness of libraries has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the introduction of internet and I believe that maintaining these facilities is a total waste of funds and resources which ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to support other activities needed for societal growth.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals? Is it a positive or negative trend? v. 43

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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