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The media should include more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

The media should include more stories which report good news. v. 4
Recently, there has been an ongoing debate over whether the media should give more coverage to positive things. This essay will discuss both points of view. In the first stage, it is undeniable that good news can make a remarkable improvement in the mental health. To be clearly stated, reading the newspapers focusing predominantly on positive contents will instill the optimism and positivity in people, which yield numerous benefits in their mentality as well as life expectancy. For example, the research of Boston University School of Medicine based on approximately 70000 men and women has shown that the most optimistic people can live about 15% longer and stand more chance of reaching to age 85 or older. Secondly, the good news is able to generate the motivation to do humanitarian works. For instance, when exposing to some contents about volunteers or a charity organisation which can easily create a far-reaching campaign, people will be inspired and led to involve in it. However, bad news also play a salient role in the life. Firstly, it can give indispensable warnings against some current issues. To clarify fully, as watching the negative stories that offer a wealth of information about disaster or diseases, people will take several precautions to avoid it. For example, in this Covid-19 pandemic, due to the number of deaths and infected patients reported, people are conscious of its hazards and self-isolate. Besides, bad news can also broaden the outlook on a problem. If people just aware of the positive sides of an issue, they cannot analyse and examine it objectively, which results in a multitude of misleading thoughts. In conclusion, although I agree the positive news should be reported more on the media, I also think that it cannot replace the negative information.
Recently, there has been an ongoing debate over whether the media should give more coverage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
things. This essay will discuss both points of view.

In the
first
stage, it is undeniable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a remarkable improvement in the mental health. To be
clearly
stated, reading the newspapers focusing
predominantly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
contents will instill the optimism and positivity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which yield numerous benefits in their mentality
as well
as life expectancy.
For example
, the research of Boston University School of Medicine based on approximately 70000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women has shown that the most optimistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
about 15% longer and stand more chance of reaching to age 85 or older.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is able to generate the motivation to do humanitarian works.
For instance
, when exposing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
contents about volunteers or a charity
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
which can
easily
create a far-reaching campaign,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be inspired
and led to involve in it.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
also
play a salient role in the life.
Firstly
, it can give indispensable warnings against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
issues. To clarify
fully
, as watching the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
stories that offer a wealth of information about disaster or diseases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will take several precautions to avoid it.
For example
, in this Covid-19 pandemic, due to the number of deaths and infected patients reported,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are conscious of its hazards and self-isolate.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can
also
broaden the outlook on a problem. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
sides of an issue, they cannot
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
and examine it
objectively
, which results in a multitude of misleading thoughts.

In conclusion
, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should
be reported
more on the media, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it cannot replace the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
information.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay The media should include more stories which report good news. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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