Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Compare and contrast your views on marriage with the views of a partner. Highlight some of the similarities and differences. v.1

Compare and contrast your views on marriage with the views of a partner. Highlight some of the similarities and differences. v. 1
In these days, youngsters are not willing to live with their family until they commit in a marriage, yet an individual goes to abroad for the academic or job. People indulge in such activities to pursue their dream. I believe that, this approach has had both benefits as well as drawbacks, the essay will discuss both points in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, the foremost advantage of going other nation for studies or work is career growth. Overseas studies are generally preferred by the students due to the excellent quality of the education and more opportunities after completion of course. For example, a research shows that 70% teenagers got the success rate from outside studies. Moreover, working in developed nation offers the more salary and a standard lifestyle. Such amenities, convenience employees' as well as children move other countries. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks of visiting another nation and leaving parents. Firstly, this approach makes the individual homesick. In addition, family members also feel lonely without their children. However, long distance relation may lead some differences as well as create no emotions towards parents and home country. For instance, a visa agency, reveals the information that 90% people after migration or immigration, do not show the interest to come back their community. Separation from their infants results in a detrimental way for some parents. To conclude, an individual migrates other community for the study or job purpose is a great decision, when they respect the emotions of their parents as well as of their own country.
In these days, youngsters are not willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their family until they commit in a marriage,
yet
an individual
There isn't usually a preposition before "abroad". Did you mean "goes abroad"?
goes to abroad
for the academic or job.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
indulge in such activities to pursue their dream. I believe that, this approach has had both benefits as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as drawbacks, the essay will discuss both points in subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, the foremost advantage of going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
or work is career growth. Overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
are
generally
preferred by the students due to the excellent quality of the education and more opportunities after completion
of course
.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 70%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the success rate from outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Moreover
, working in developed nation offers the more salary and a standard lifestyle. Such amenities, convenience employees' as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of visiting another nation and leaving parents.

Firstly
, this approach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the individual homesick.
In addition
, family members
also
feel lonely without their children.
However
, long distance relation may lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as create no emotions towards parents and home country.
For instance
, a visa agency, reveals the information that 90%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
after migration or immigration, do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back their community. Separation from their infants results
Consider replacing "in a detrimental way" with the adverb for "detrimental"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a detrimental way
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents.

To conclude
, an individual migrates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
community for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
or job purpose is a great decision, when they respect the emotions of their parents as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Compare and contrast your views on marriage with the views of a partner. Highlight some of the similarities and differences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts