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Students learn more from their school teachers than from other sources such as the internet or television. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Students learn more from their school teachers than from other sources such as the internet or television. v. 1
The scientific revolution and modern electronic inventions like computer and television have greatly improved the quality of life over the last 20-30 years. Moreover, great progress in the field of science has made life simpler and faster. Modern electronic equipments have greatly helped in reducing human effort. While it is true that machines have replaced man in many industries and as a result, people do not have to put in hard physical labour like they had to in the past, it does not mean that this is having a negative effect on their health. In this modern era of computer and television, people are more aware of the benefits of a good health. People can easily access websites and watch channels which provide them knowledge on the importance of maintaining their health. There are several websites and TV channels dedicated to promote health awareness programs. Due to this, one can easily watch such shows and access Google and YouTube to learn different exercises, yoga and aerobics. There is no longer any need of joining expensive gyms and aerobics classes. It helps in saving lots of time and money. It has a vast array of information, articles, videos which raises awareness of the importance of physical workout and having a healthy lifestyle. For example, it was the television, which introduced us to the morning yogas of Ram Dev Baba and it quickly became popular in every household. People these days are more health and beauty conscious than they were in the past. Consequently, modern people engage in lots of physical workout like the morning walk, jogging with their pets, cycling. For instance, in every big city, it is very common to spot young people jogging and working out in the parks early morning or late in the evening. Modern people invest more time and energy in staying fit. Electronic inventions have made work simpler and has helped in saving lots of precious time, which allows people to invest more hours in exercise. Advent of printers and photocopying machine is a big example. Men no longer have to write pages after pages, they can easily take a print out and save several hours and utilise this time in building their fitness. In conclusion, I totally disagree that modern electronic inventions are responsible for having a negative effect on people's health. There are people who are lazy and are not interested in physical activities, however the Television and computer cannot be blamed for their fault. It is their own responsibility to opt for a healthy lifestyle. Even before such inventions were made, the society had a good percentage of people who were not into exercising and led a less active or sedentary life. To make matters worse, in those days the knowledge and awareness were lacking among everyone. As a result, only a certain section of the society like men in uniforms, police or wrestlers was engaged in exercise. In the modern era, people of all ages, housewives, children, young adults, mothers, aged people are very conscious about their health and wellbeing and clearly the media has played a huge role in spreading the light of knowledge.
The scientific revolution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
electronic inventions like computer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
have
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the quality of life over the last 20-30 years.
Moreover
, great progress in the field of science has made life simpler and faster.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
electronic equipments have
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in reducing human effort. While it is true that machines have replaced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
like they had to in the past, it does not mean that this is having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their health.

In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era of computer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more aware of the benefits of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
easily
access websites and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
channels which provide them knowledge on the importance of maintaining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. There are several websites and TV channels dedicated to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness programs. Due to this, one can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and access Google and YouTube to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
exercises, yoga and aerobics. There is no longer any need of joining expensive gyms and aerobics classes. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in saving lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money. It has a vast array of information, articles, videos which raises awareness of the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
workout and having a healthy lifestyle.
For example
, it was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, which introduced us to the morning
Possible spelling mistake found.
yogas
of Ram Dev Baba and it
quickly
became popular in every household.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
these days are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and beauty conscious than they were in the past.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
engage in lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
workout like the morning walk, jogging with their pets, cycling.
For instance
, in every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to spot young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
jogging and working out in the parks early morning or late in the evening.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy in staying fit.

Electronic inventions have made work simpler and has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in saving lots of precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to invest more hours in exercise. Advent of printers and photocopying machine is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
example.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
write pages after pages, they can
easily
take a print out and save several hours and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in building their fitness.

In conclusion
, I
totally
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
electronic inventions are responsible for having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are lazy and are not interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities,
however
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
and computer cannot
be blamed
for their fault. It is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
responsibility to opt for a healthy lifestyle. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
such inventions
were made
, the society had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were not into exercising and led a less active or sedentary life. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, in those days the knowledge and awareness were lacking among everyone.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a certain section of the society like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in uniforms, police or wrestlers
was engaged
in exercise. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages, housewives, children, young adults, mothers, aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
conscious about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
and
clearly
the media has played a huge role in spreading the light of knowledge.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Students learn more from their school teachers than from other sources such as the internet or television. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
524 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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