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Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only betterfor their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion v.8

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only betterfor their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion v. 8
In these days, children are spending their leisure time with television and other life-waster devices such as gaming consoles and smartphones. They must stop using them and focus on the activities for example, reading, researching and writing poems. I agreed that they have to spend many hours with cultural studies, art or music. However, they're not very interested in these kind of hobbies. Electronic devices are stealing this generation's moment and making them uncreative persons. For instance, the invention of the game consoles is to entertain people with attractive games and high graphics. These effects are making them silly and we have only one solution to solve that situation. We have to educate our children at school by giving them a time management lesson. Otherwise, they might not learn how to manage their life. Every country needs to use the knowledge of their new generations. Government's duty is to educate and raise them correctly and wisely. The government must add creative and supportive lessons to raise a useful and a productive generation. If we compare this generation with the previous one, we will clearly see the main difference is undoubtedly the hours that spending at home instead of getting out. The main reason is obviously the improvement of the technology. In conclusion, they are spending too much of their days with television, computer etc. We have to educate them correctly by lessons or commercials. If we leave them alone, they might be the new slaves of the technology. The world is changing quickly and we have to shape ourselves over time.
In these days, children are spending their leisure time with television and other life-waster devices such as gaming consoles and smartphones. They
must
stop
using them and focus on the activities
for example
, reading, researching and writing poems. I
agreed
that they
have to
spend
many
hours with cultural studies, art or music.
However
, they're not
very
interested in
these kind
of hobbies.

Electronic devices are stealing this generation's moment and making them uncreative persons.
For instance
, the invention of the game consoles is to entertain
people
with attractive games and high graphics. These effects are making them
silly and
we have
only
one solution to solve that situation. We
have to
educate our children at school by giving them a time management lesson.
Otherwise
, they might not learn how to manage their life.

Every country needs to
use
the knowledge of their new generations.
Government
's duty is to educate and raise them
correctly
and
wisely
. The
government
must
add
creative and supportive lessons to raise a useful and a productive generation. If we compare this generation with the previous one, we will
clearly
see
the main difference is
undoubtedly
the hours that spending at home
instead
of getting out. The main reason is
obviously
the improvement of the technology.

In conclusion
, they are spending too much of their days with television, computer etc. We
have to
educate them
correctly
by lessons or commercials. If we
leave
them alone, they might be the new slaves of the technology. The world is changing
quickly and
we
have to
shape ourselves over time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only betterfor their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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