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Companies sponsoring sports events for advertising purposes? What are the advantages and disadvantages for this? v.1

Companies sponsoring sports events for advertising purposes? What are the advantages and disadvantages for this? v. 1
Most of the companies have the utmost interest to invest money on international games which are widely popular all over the world. While I believe that sponsorship in sports bring many benefits for both team and company, many argue that it has substantial negative consequences for the player as well as the company also. Investment in international sports has been popular for its significant impact on society. Firstly, sport teams are given free sports equipment by the sponsor’s company, which they could not afford otherwise. It motivates them to practice more often with liabilities. Later, teams’ success will bring reputation for the company. Secondly, people think positively about the company and its brand who donate sports team. It also increased media exposure for a company. On the other hand, there are lots of demerits in the sponsorship. Many teams feel pressure from the sponsor company because of getting the donation from them, which creates an obstacle to play freely. In addition, team success is tightly linked to sponsor company reputation. In case of the team’s failure, companies’ good will scale down tremendously. Moreover, sometimes companies promote harmful product which is injurious to health and in consequence, people get addicted on that harmful product. In conclusion, sponsorship in any international sport events is undeniable for renowned company to advertise and promote their brands. This is obviously beneficial for both the team and the company to go ahead. Simultaneously, it hampers the reputation of the company when team – they represent - losses their match continued. But I believe that advantages outright the disadvantages.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have the utmost interest to invest money on international games which are
widely
popular all over the world. While I believe that sponsorship in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that it has substantial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences for the player
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
also
.

Investment in international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has been popular for its significant impact on society.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
equipment by the sponsor’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, which they could not afford
otherwise
. It motivates them to practice more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
with liabilities. Later,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams’
success will bring reputation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
positively
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and its brand who donate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. It
also
increased media exposure for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

On the other hand
, there are lots of demerits in the sponsorship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
feel pressure from the sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of getting the donation from them, which creates an obstacle to play
freely
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
success is
tightly
linked to sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
reputation. In case of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team’s
failure,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
will scale down
tremendously
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
promote harmful product which is injurious to health and in consequence,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted on that harmful product.

In conclusion
, sponsorship in any international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is undeniable for renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to advertise and promote their brands. This is
obviously
beneficial for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to go ahead.
Simultaneously
, it hampers the reputation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
they represent
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
losses their match continued.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe that advantages outright the disadvantages.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Companies sponsoring sports events for advertising purposes? What are the advantages and disadvantages for this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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