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Communication is less between family members of late. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Communication is less between family members of late. v. 1
In recent years, according to some family members interact with each other less. In my opinion, communication between family members increased way more than before. This essay will shed some light on how mobile and internet changed the communication level. Firstly, for increase communication is definitely because of easy access of mobile to everyone. As a result of it anyone can connect with others at a drop of the hat. A Recent report says that husband and wife connect more frequently in a day through mobile, that might be by voice call or message. As Mobile is affordable and with data plan in less price, a wide range of family members able to communicate to each other. Even with unlimited call and text, duration of the talk last more than expected. Which is a sign of healthy relation in the family. Another main reason, for good communication between family members, is the world wide internet. The internet has made the world a small village. People able connect to each other using various internet tools like Skype, google hang out. Even the video call chatting bring them closer, which is again free of cost. So more people use it happily every day to connect with their families. For instance, people who live in India connect with someone in the USA using the internet call and talk for few hours free of cost. As it is free, It has been seen that lot of weekend people who live in abroad consume their time just talking to family members. In conclusion, due to affordability, mobile communication becomes easier. Also wide spread internet and its heavy usage changed the world. These help the family members communicate more.
In recent years, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
interact with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
less. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
increased way more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This essay will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on how mobile and internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
level.

Firstly
, for increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of easy access of mobile to everyone.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result of it anyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
with others at a drop of the hat. A Recent report says that husband and wife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
more
frequently
in a day through mobile, that might be by voice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
or message. As Mobile is affordable and with data plan in less price, a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
able to communicate to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Even with unlimited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
and text, duration of the talk last more than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of healthy relation in the family.

Another main reason, for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, is the
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
internet. The internet has made the world a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
able
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
using various internet tools like Skype, google hang out. Even the video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
chatting bring them closer, which is again free of cost.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
happily
every day to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
with someone in the USA using the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
and talk for few hours free of cost. As it is free, It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that lot of weekend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in abroad consume their time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
talking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

In conclusion
, due to affordability, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
becomes easier.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
wide spread internet and its heavy usage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the world. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
communicate more.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Communication is less between family members of late. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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