Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Parenting courses help in children development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Parenting courses help in children development. v. 1
Many people are arguing that if parenting courses could help children's progress. Although the first reactions to some people is to refuse such claims, there are persuasive reasons to examine this issue in depth. In my opinion, there are numbers of reasons to concur this statement. First of all, the prime reason to support my position is that children need parents' support during their growing period. So that the parents need to learn how to help their kids. For example, my friend Tina's baby was almost one year old, and he is learning to eat solid food recently. However, the boy was not interested in solid food, and refused to eat. After consulting several friends and doctors, they found out how to make the solid food which can be accepted. So it is clear that if there are some parenting courses, not only help the parents, but also help the child growing. Another reason for my belief is that, most of the parents are not 100% ready to a mother or a father. Therefore, parenting courses could help them learn how to be a parent and know more about the needs of their children. Take my friend Tony for example, he had a baby boy while he was 16 years old. He only knew he needed to earn money for surviving. Nonetheless, his parents gave him a program of how to be a good parent, which program helps him to know the important role of being a father. After all, he also helped his kid went through the difficulties of student life. From such example, it illustrated that parenting courses can help teenager’s buildup. The final reason why I support my conviction is that each youth has different issues. Therefore, parental directions play an important role for building youth character. For instance, my friend Sandy was not willing to talk while she was 3 years old. Her parents know how to lead her through some parenting courses' help. Consequently. It can be said that parental system could help children development. To conclude, there is not to say that other points of views are without merit. However, I believe the reasons I presented for supporting my position is stronger.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are arguing that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
children's progress. Although the
first
reactions to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
to refuse such claims, there are persuasive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to examine this issue in depth. In my opinion, there are numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to concur this statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the prime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to support my position is that children need parents' support during their growing period.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their kids.
For example
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Tina's baby was almost one year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, and he is learning to eat solid food recently.
However
, the boy was not interested in solid food, and refused to eat. After consulting several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and doctors, they found out how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the solid food which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that if there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the child growing.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for my belief is that, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not 100% ready to a mother or a father.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them learn how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and know more about the needs of their children. Take my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Tony
for example
, he had a baby boy while he was 16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
knew he needed to earn money for surviving. Nonetheless, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
gave him a program of how to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, which program
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
him to know the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role of being a father.
After all
, he
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
his kid went through the difficulties of student life. From such example, it illustrated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
’s buildup.

The final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I support my conviction is that each youth has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issues.
Therefore
, parental directions play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for building youth character.
For instance
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Sandy was not willing to talk while she was 3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know how to lead her through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
courses'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
Consequently
. It can
be said
that parental system could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
children development.

To conclude
, there is not to say that other points of views are without merit.
However
, I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
I presented for supporting my position is stronger.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Parenting courses help in children development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
368 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts
  • 8band
    Parenting courses help in children development. v. 2
    Recently, it has been claimed that the parenting and child development courses would ensure that children are getting the right guidance and support from their guardians. I completely agree with this trend, for providing knowledge backed up with science and network of relationships to improve family...
  • 8band
    Parenting courses help in children development. v. 3
    It is believed that sessions on parenting helps in the development of children. I totally agree with this trend, and in my opinion, attending such courses will not only leave substantial benefits for children but will also provide a social network for the parents. Parenting courses are beneficial a...
  • 8band
    Parenting courses help in children development. v. 4
    Parenting a child at a younger age will thrive them for better future development. I strongly agree with the statement, however along with the parental guidance, proper school supervision will route the kids in a proper way. This essay will discuss the benefits of parenting their offsprings with spe...
  • 8.5band
    Some people said that with the help of parenting and child development courses parents can improve the life of children. v. 1
    Parenting courses have become a growing trend over the last two years. A number people believe that the life quality of children can be improved by parents who attend in parenting and child development courses which help them about parenting. I completely agree with the idea that parenting courses a...


Recent posts