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Some people believe that it’s not necessary to have internet access to live a full life. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience. v.1

Some people believe that it’s not necessary to have internet access to live a full life. What is your opinion? v. 1
In the past few decades, lifestyle has tremendously changed because of technological advancements. Internet, like many other important household things, has become an essential product in every home. However, some people argue that internet need not exist in our lives to live a purposeful life. I completely agree with this statement. This essay will discuss why internet is not a necessity to lead a meaningful life. Firstly, internet access does not always bring us joy that one looks forward to. It is certain that online access gives us information that we need and helps to complete our work in a more efficient manner. However, the internet does not redefine joy. Surprisingly, internet may not always provide joy a human being can bring. For instance, there are many grandparents who seek happiness by looking after their grandchildren. Some of them do not have internet access at homes, but they are content with lives by interacting with people they know. Hence, it is certain that being connected with the world via internet is not necessary all the time to live a peaceful life. Secondly, children in remote villages do not have the means to be connected with the world. Does this mean they are not leading a happy life? Even though they may not have the luxury of internet or other technological devices at home, they grow up to be children who seek happiness in other forms. They learn about the world through their surroundings. When they play with other young children, they learn to be more kind and compassionate. Without internet access, they become caring citizens and passionate learners who live a joy-filled life. In conclusion, interacting with human beings and learning from our environment bring more joy that internet does not provide all the time. Given this situation, we can all learn to live a completely meaningful life without depending on other devices for true happiness.
In the past few decades, lifestyle has
tremendously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological advancements. Internet, like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
household things, has become an essential product in every home.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that internet need not exist in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a purposeful life. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. This essay will discuss why internet is not a necessity to lead a meaningful life.

Firstly
, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not always bring us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joy
that one looks forward to. It is certain that online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
gives us information that we need and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to complete our work in a more efficient manner.
However
, the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not redefine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joy
.
Surprisingly
, internet may not always provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joy
a human being can bring.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
grandparents who seek happiness by looking after their grandchildren.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them do not have internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
at homes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are content with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
by interacting with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they know.
Hence
, it is certain that
being connected
with the world via internet is not necessary all the time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a peaceful life.

Secondly
, children in remote villages do not have the means to
be connected
with the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Does
this mean they are not leading a happy life?
Even though
they may not have the luxury of internet or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
technological devices at home, they grow up to be children who seek happiness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms. They learn about the world through their surroundings. When they play with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
young children, they learn to be more kind and compassionate. Without internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
, they become caring citizens and passionate learners who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a joy-filled life.

In conclusion
, interacting with human beings and learning from our environment bring more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joy
that internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
does
not provide all the time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, we can all learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a completely meaningful life without depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
devices for true happiness.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe that it’s not necessary to have internet access to live a full life. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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