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Some people think that international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution, others think there are some other ways. Discuss both views and give your own opinions. v.2

Some people think that international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution, others think there are some other ways. v. 2
It is true that humankind have been encountering the unprecedented global air pollution. While many individuals argue that curbing air pollution by introducing international car-free days is promissing, I believe that other more effective methods should be taken into considerations. On the one hand, there are various reasons why many people agree that the former approach is conducive to reduce air pollution. It stands to reason that the number the number of private cars has been increasing significantly in the new era as the result of the advent of state-of-the-art technology in car industry as well as high standard of living. Consequently, the more cars comsumed, the more exhaust emissions emitted, resulting in air pollution. International car-free days, therefore, would reduce to some extent the amount of emissions stemming from this mean of transportation and obviously contribute to environmental protection in the long run. On the other hand, I would advocate with those who contend that there are numerous approaches besides this above-mentioned one that would be more effectively. Firstly, it is fair to say that air pollution is attributable to not only the increasing car comsumption but also other resources such as emissions from industrial areas. State government, thereafter, should interfere in this field by enacting environmental laws which restrict the amount of emissions of factories. Moreover, residents could be raised awareness by encouraging them to be involved in eco-friendly activites like planting trees, using public transportation or car-pooling system, which curb a large number of vehicles in street including private cars. By doing so, not only could it tackle this problem, it but also save national budget. In conclusion, it seems to me that applying other methods would be highly advantageous, although international car-free days could be promissing to some extent.
It is true that humankind have been encountering the unprecedented global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals argue that curbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
by introducing international car-free days is
Possible spelling mistake found.
promissing
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more effective methods should
be taken
into considerations.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the former approach is conducive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. It stands to reason that
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "the number".
the number the number
of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has been increasing
significantly
in the new era as the result of the advent of state-of-the-art technology in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
industry
as well
as high standard of living.
Consequently
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
Possible spelling mistake found.
comsumed
, the more exhaust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
emitted, resulting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. International car-free days,
therefore
, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
stemming from this mean of transportation and
obviously
contribute to environmental protection in the long run.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I would advocate with those who contend that there are numerous approaches
besides
this above-mentioned one that would be more
effectively
.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is attributable to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
Possible spelling mistake found.
comsumption
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
resources such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
from industrial areas. State
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, thereafter, should interfere in this field by enacting environmental laws which restrict the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
of factories.
Moreover
, residents could
be raised
awareness by encouraging them to
be involved
in eco-friendly
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
like planting trees, using public transportation or car-pooling system, which curb
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
vehicles in street including private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
could it tackle this problem, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save national budget.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods would be
highly
advantageous, although international car-free days could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
promissing
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that international car-free days are an effective way of reducing air pollution, others think there are some other ways. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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