Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is widely believed that consumerism is Vital for the economic well-Being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Provide examples and suppo v.2

It is widely believed that consumerism is Vital for the economic well-Being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Provide examples and suppo v. 2
In today’s modern world, consumerism is prevalent in any society. While some argue it is the drive behind a country’s economic growth, others are concerned that it has negative ramifications. In my opinion, there are both benefits and drawbacks of consumerism. On one hand, there are people who claim that consumerism boosts a country’s spending as a whole. If consumers are in a spending frenzy, then in a free market they will drive up the demand for products and services, which further pushes up the supply of them. In addition, increased spending attracts competition between businesses, who that compete for the consumers’ patronage by either lowering the price or offering premium products and services. As such, consumers will take advantage of this and keep spending, which in turn forms a positive cycle in which the country’s economic growth is stimulated. On the other hand, some people argue that the role of advertising in consumerism will is likely to cause harm to young children. It is thought that young children are susceptible to the mass media’s influences, particularly advertising. As they have not yet developed rational judgement, they will be likely to believe everything they see. For example, they might want fast food from McDonald’s in place of alternative healthy snacks, just because an enticing advertisement of McDonald’s on TV has captured their attention. This undoubtedly will lead to the younger generations not being able to think for themselves and also undesirable health problems such as diabetes. In my opinion, I believe there are both positive and negative aspects of consumerism. However, young children should be protected from the adverse consequences that advertising might lead to
In
today
’s modern world, consumerism is prevalent in any society. While
some
argue it is the drive behind a country’s economic growth, others
are concerned
that it has
negative
ramifications. In my opinion, there are both benefits and drawbacks of consumerism.

On one hand, there are
people
who claim that consumerism boosts a country’s
spending
as a whole. If consumers are in a
spending
frenzy, then in a free market they will drive up the demand for products and services, which
further
pushes up the supply of them.
In addition
, increased
spending
attracts competition between businesses, who that compete for the consumers’ patronage by either lowering the price or offering premium products and services. As such, consumers will take advantage of this and
keep
spending
, which in turn forms a
positive
cycle in which the country’s economic growth
is stimulated
.

On the other hand
,
some
people
argue that the role of advertising in consumerism will is likely to cause harm to young children. It is
thought
that young children are susceptible to the mass media’s influences,
particularly
advertising. As they have not
yet
developed rational judgement, they will be likely to believe everything they
see
.
For example
, they might want
fast
food from McDonald’s in place of alternative healthy snacks,
just
because
an enticing
advertisement of
McDonald’s on TV has captured their attention. This
undoubtedly
will lead to the younger generations not being able to
think
for themselves and
also
undesirable health problems such as diabetes.

In my opinion, I believe there are both
positive
and
negative
aspects of consumerism.
However
, young children should
be protected
from the adverse consequences that advertising might lead to
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It is widely believed that consumerism is Vital for the economic well-Being of a country. However others feel that consumerism has unacceptable social consequences on a society. Provide examples and suppo v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts