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cientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

cientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. v. 1
In the modern world, there has been an accelerating trend of people eating unhealthy food, posing a wide range of detrimental threats to their health. While some people consider education as an ineffective measure to resolve the problem. I would contend that this practice would serve as a definite workable solution to tackling such a problem. There is a common belief that education would not be an effective method of deterring people from consuming a large amount of junk food. Supporters of this view might argue that the modern living style is the root of this issue, which would not be efficiently addressed by education. For example, there are many intellectual officers in favour of fast food due to its convenience and portable manner. Despite their profound nutrition-related knowledge and awareness, these busy consumers opt for fast food for the sake of time-saving. Besides, there is another efficient turning of junk food consumption. For instance, the government could impose higher taxation schemes on junk food. By raising fast food prices, such a strict legal action could yield immediate and widespread effects on consumer behaviour, thus bringing forth a quicker decline in junk food consumption compared to education. However, I would strongly endorse education as an effective key to the junk food over consumption problem. The primary reason is that an appropriate education would efficiently heighten eaters' awareness which may act as a deterrent to people opting for unhealthy food. For instance, once people gain insightful knowledge and awareness about life-threatening cancers and diseases caused by overeating fast food, they would be more likely to put an end to such a Hamil eating habit. Another supporting reason is that nutrition education programs compared to other measures such as imposing higher taxes could result in more sustainable awareness and behaviour change among people from all walks of life, especially children and adolescents. These beneficiaries will collate a lifetime habit of refraining from junk food or restricting such intake. To sum up, although there are reasonable arguments against education, I firmly believe that educational measures would significantly food consumption and deter the problem from being exacerbated further.
In the modern world, there has been an accelerating trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eating unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, posing a wide range of detrimental threats to their health. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as an ineffective measure to resolve the problem. I would contend that this practice would serve as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
solution to tackling such a problem.

There is a common belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would not be an effective method of deterring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from consuming a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Supporters of this view might argue that the modern living style is the root of this issue, which would not be
efficiently
addressed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
intellectual officers in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
due to its convenience and portable manner. Despite their profound nutrition-related knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
, these busy consumers opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the sake of time-saving.
Besides
, there is another efficient turning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could impose higher taxation schemes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. By raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prices, such a strict legal action could yield immediate and widespread effects on consumer
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
thus
bringing forth a quicker decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
compared to education.

However
, I would
strongly
endorse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as an effective key to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
problem. The primary reason is that an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would
efficiently
heighten eaters'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
which may act as a deterrent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opting for unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain insightful knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
about life-threatening cancers and diseases caused by overeating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, they would be more likely to put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to such a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hamil
eating habit. Another supporting reason is that nutrition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
programs compared to other measures such as imposing higher taxes could result in more sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all walks of life,
especially
children and adolescents. These beneficiaries will collate a lifetime habit of refraining from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or restricting such intake.

To sum up, although there are reasonable arguments against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, I
firmly
believe that educational measures would
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
and deter the problem from
being exacerbated
further
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay cientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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