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Children's educaton is expensive. In some countries the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v.1

Children's educaton is expensive. In some countries the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1
Schooling plays a pivotal role in the development of a country. Therefore, the authority pay for the learning of the young ones in many nations to lessen the burden of expenses on their wards. As far as I am concerned, I think that this approach has manifold merits rather than demerits which will be explicated in the paragraphs to come. To inaugurate with the factors which surround my viewpoint. Eradicating the stress is the predominant one, as people, in the inflationary era of today, are working round the clock to fulfil the rudimentary requirements and the additional expenditure on the studies which cause stress among them. Consequently, if the regime acts as a helping hand to these masses by taking the onus of learning expedition, it would be immensely fruitful for these people to reduce the stress level. For an example, Canada government pays the fees of the local residents till the completion of their secondary education. Resultantly, the citizens of Canada are unlikely to reel under any mental illness. Furthermore, the illiteracy rate is reduced to a great extent. To elaborate it, an educated person can understand the things practically and tend to bring some unprecedented alterations. However, some families are impoverished and unable to provide the information for their offspring. Thus, the government can surge the literacy level by investing the funds on studies of these children. As an impact, Japan is positioned at first position in terms of most educated country indexes because the bureaucrats of this region facilitate the money for young ones' studies. Nevertheless, only one negative of the economical help is, sometimes the individuals, who are rich, exploit the money which is given by states to accomplish the educational necessity. As it has been observed in Brazil that the rich students are also using the free of cost information provided by the prime minister of there. In compendium, although the financial expenses on educational aspects has a sole drawback, its numerous benefits cannot be overlooked.
Schooling plays a pivotal role in the development of a country.
Therefore
, the authority pay for the learning of the young ones in
many
nations to lessen the burden of expenses on their wards. As far as I
am concerned
, I
think
that this approach has manifold merits
rather
than demerits which will
be explicated
in the paragraphs to
come
.

To inaugurate with the factors which surround my viewpoint. Eradicating the
stress
is the predominant one, as
people
, in the inflationary era of
today
, are working round the clock to fulfil the rudimentary requirements and the additional expenditure on the studies which cause
stress
among them.
Consequently
, if the regime acts as a helping hand to these masses by taking the onus of learning expedition, it would be
immensely
fruitful for these
people
to
reduce
the
stress
level. For an example, Canada
government
pays the fees of the local residents till the completion of their secondary education.
Resultantly
, the citizens of Canada are unlikely to reel under any mental illness.

Furthermore
, the illiteracy rate is
reduced
to a great extent. To elaborate it, an educated person can understand the things
practically
and tend to bring
some
unprecedented alterations.
However
,
some
families
are impoverished
and unable to provide the information for their offspring.
Thus
, the
government
can surge the literacy level by investing the funds on studies of these children. As an impact, Japan
is positioned
at
first
position in terms of most educated country indexes
because
the bureaucrats of this region facilitate the money for young ones' studies.
Nevertheless
,
only
one
negative
of the economical
help
is,
sometimes
the individuals, who are rich, exploit the money which is
given
by states to accomplish the educational necessity. As it has
been observed
in Brazil that the rich students are
also
using the free of cost information provided by the prime minister of there.

In compendium, although the financial expenses on educational aspects has a sole drawback, its numerous benefits cannot
be overlooked
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Children's educaton is expensive. In some countries the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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