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Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v.3

Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 3
In recent decades, the question of whether or not the government should pay for children’s education has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this assistance is not without the disadvantages, the upsides will be far more significant. There are a number of drawbacks of this sponsorship. First, since a sustainable development of a nation requires to have many investments in many fields, paying all of the costs for children’s education can put more burden on national budgets. In fact, the governments need to fund properly for many key areas, such as healthcare, economy, education, which implies that every citizen should shoulder the responsibility of paying for their children’ schooling fees. Second, by supporting children’s education, either a part or all of the costs, the governments could create unfairness to childless people. This means that they may feel angry or irritated if knowing that their tax income is not spent on their benefits. On the other hand, this suggestion has various benefits for children’s education. First, in order to encourage more children go to school, the school fees funded by the government can relieve the burden finacial for many families. For example, their parents can have more money to spend on food, health care, which develops society. Second, if most of children go to school, illteracy rate will be reduced. This means that the workerforce gets better, which can significantly contribute to the increase of the country. In conclusion, although this suggestion will cause some problems, the advantages will be far sharper. By considering, the government will have the best decision.
In recent decades,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
or not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although this assistance is not without the disadvantages, the upsides will be far more significant.

There are a number of drawbacks of this sponsorship.
First
, since a sustainable development of a nation requires to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
investments in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields, paying
Consider using "all the".
all of the
costs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can put more burden on national budgets. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
need to fund
properly
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
key areas, such as healthcare, economy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, which implies that every citizen should shoulder the responsibility of paying for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’
schooling fees. Second, by supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, either a part or all of the costs, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could create unfairness to childless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This means that they may feel angry or irritated if knowing that their tax income is not spent on their benefits.

On the other hand
, this suggestion has various benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
First
, in order to encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to school, the school fees funded by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can relieve the burden
Possible spelling mistake found.
finacial
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families.
For example
, their parents can have more money to spend on food, health care, which develops society. Second, if most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to school,
Possible spelling mistake found.
illteracy
rate will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. This means that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
workerforce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
better, which can
significantly
contribute to the increase of the country.

In conclusion
, although this suggestion will cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems, the advantages will be far sharper. By considering, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will have the best decision.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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IELTS essay Children’s education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some of or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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