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Children's education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v.7

Children's education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 7
People are now able to travel for a long distance away from their home using public and private transport. The merits of transportations are employees can reach to their companies timely and cheaply. While if we talk about its drawbacks, it is creating pollution in the environment, its maintenance cost is very high. Firstly, earlier, it was quite difficult to reach at the company by an employee so, he used to work nearby his house. However, today with the advent of new technology and the development of public transports like metros, buses, it is really easy to reach in time. Also, it is quite affordable to buy a ticket for a bus and train. So, I would say transportation has made our life flexible in terms of travelling. Despite all these, there are some demerits which are affecting our daily life. Today, vehicles are run by fossil fuels, which emit harmful greenhouse gases, which are changing the climate condition of our earth. For example, global warming is occurring. In addition to that, transportation maintenance cost is very expensive. Every week, it requires a service. In case of public transport the government has to take care of all the expenses, while in case of private transport, owner of the vehicle has to look after all the costs it require to keep maintain his vehicle. In conclusion, although there are several benefits of transportation around us, their disadvantages are also not less. Hence, transportations are providing luxury to travel cheaply and timely, but it is also affecting the environment differently.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to travel for a long distance away from their home using public and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. The merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
are employees can reach to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
timely and
cheaply
. While if we talk about its drawbacks, it is creating pollution in the environment, its maintenance cost is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.

Firstly
, earlier, it was quite difficult to reach at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
by an employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work nearby his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
with the advent of new technology and the development of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
like metros, buses, it is
really
easy to reach in time.
Also
, it is quite affordable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a ticket for a bus and train.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I would say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
has made our life flexible in terms of travelling.

Despite all these, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits which are affecting our daily life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, vehicles
are run
by fossil fuels, which emit harmful greenhouse gases, which are changing the climate condition of our earth.
For example
, global warming is occurring.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
maintenance cost is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. Every week, it requires a service. In case of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take care of all the expenses, while in case of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, owner of the vehicle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
look
after all
the costs it
Did you mean "requires"?
require
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
maintain his vehicle.

In conclusion
, although there are several benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
around us, their disadvantages are
also
not less.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
are providing luxury to travel
cheaply
and timely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
affecting the environment
differently
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Children's education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some or all of the costs. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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