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Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. v. 1
Traditional cultural symbols are increasingly being used to boost local tourism. Some people support this move as they believe that their local cultures can be perpetuated in this way; however, other people argue that making money from cultural traditions will eventually destroy their indigenous culture. In my opinion, culture based tourism protects rather than destroy traditional cultures and values. Integrating traditional cultural aspects with local tourism provides greater exposure to these cultures. To be specific, by showcasing indigenous activities, handcrafts and artworks in front of international travellers, local residents are actually putting their own cultures under the spotlight of the whole world. This will help spread their culture all over the world and more and more people will be interested in visiting those holiday destinations which are famous for the exotic cultural experiences they provide. This will not only boost local culture and traditions but also help local artists and artisan earn a better livelihood. For example, this is a great way to promote local art and dance forms that may be losing popularity among the native audience. On the other hand, over exploitation of cultural traditions for the sake of tourism may inevitably cause issues. If the local culture is coarsely adapted to suit the purpose of tourism, the tourist experience is compromised and this may actually show the culture in a bad light. For example, when I was travelling in Yunnan Province in the Southwest China, I took part in a culture experience tour so as to know more about the local culture. However, the tour was poorly designed and all participants were made to buy local handicrafts. It left a negative impression on me and I will not recommend this place to any of my friends. In other words, for many destinations, the merging / amalgamation of culture and tourism is doing more harm than good. In conclusion, there is no harm in using culture to promote tourism. It not only enhances the reputation of the country but also provides a livelihood to local artists. However, it is essential to do this in an aesthetical manner so that the effect is not counter-productive.
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
symbols are
increasingly
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
as they believe that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
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cultures
can
be perpetuated
in this way;
however
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that making money from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
traditions will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
protects
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and values.

Integrating traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
aspects with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
provides greater exposure to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. To be specific, by showcasing indigenous activities, handcrafts and artworks in front of international
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents are actually putting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
under the spotlight of the whole world. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
spread their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
all over the world and more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be interested
in visiting those holiday destinations which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for the exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
experiences they provide. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and traditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
artists and artisan earn a better livelihood.
For example
, this is a great way to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
art and dance forms that may be losing popularity among the native audience.

On the other hand
, over exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
traditions for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
may
inevitably
cause issues. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
coarsely
adapted to suit the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, the tourist experience
is compromised
and this may actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
light.
For example
, when I was travelling in Yunnan Province in the Southwest China, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
experience tour
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
know more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
However
, the tour was
poorly
designed and all participants
were made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
handicrafts. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impression on me and I will not recommend this place to any of my friends.
In other words
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
destinations, the merging / amalgamation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is doing more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

In conclusion
, there is no harm in using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhances the reputation of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides a livelihood to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
artists.
However
, it is essential to do this
Consider replacing "in an aesthetical manner" with the adverb for "aesthetical"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an aesthetical manner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the effect is not counter-productive.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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